Saturday, December 31, 2011

My update :)

As salamu alikum.....I know it has been toooooooo long since I last posted. I apologize for not responding or writing, but I have just been through so much. I will say that I have been divorced a year now and alhamdulillah I am happy. I am taking care of my 6 girls and we are all doing well masha Allah. The girls are growing and each age has it's challenges, but alhamdulillah we are much better than before. You were all witnesses through my writing of the emotional rollercoaster I was living. I had it! I was done. Best decision I made. I did face many challenges though and so much fitnah, but alhamdulillah day by day my iman is continuing to increase and I am coming a long. That black spot on my heart was growing larger and larger, but when I recognized it I began to treat it. I am in the process of looking to get married, but I am traumatized. I no longer need or want the same things that I once felt I needed or wanted. You can say I am a pessemist. I no longer have faith in the opposite sex, but I do have faith in Allah that He will be the one to bring into my life the man who will fear Allah in all of us. This is a short update until I can gather my thoughts and write what went down. Thank you and Jazzakum Allah khair to all of those who gave me advice.....asked me for advice....and followed me with love and support as I shared my feelings. I love you all for the sake of Allah :) p.s. for the sisters who would like to contact me plz send me your email addresses through the comments and I will be sure to get back with you as soon as possible insha Allah.


Anonymous said...

assalamu aleykum

alhamdoullilah your doing well.
Your blog is one of the most inspiring for me on blogger. Im glad ur doing well and I cant wait to read more of you.
khayr inshallah


BintKhalil said...

Assalamu alaikum sister

May Allah give you the fortitude to move on to better things.

Anonymous said...

Assalamu alaikum sister

I am 26 years old i have 2 year old and 7 month old girls. I am new to Islam this Rhamadan alhumdulilah it will be 2 years. My husband has been a Muslim since birth and I had the opportunity to enter Islam through him. I found your blog while googling co wives and how to cope. I am amazed at the infanite wisdom of Allah for bringing me to ur blog. I read it from start to finish like a novel I could not put down. I tried to stop reading and go to bed but I ended up laying awake thinking about what happens next so I gave up and read untill I was finished. I have been with my husband 7 years and he has been with his second wife for 3 and they have no children. Your blog was so comforting! I cried many times in the comfort that I am not alone and my thoughts and feelings are not wrong. I sat in astonishment at your words. Everything, from ur list of negative thoughts to ur post about being upset that ur husband and Lisa were at Walmart shopping together, is a mirror image of my daily struggle. My biggest hurdle is that I have children and she doesn't. Like u said he gets his break everyother day and I do not. If he wants to go out to a dinner it's just easier for him to do it on her day instead of mine... And it makes me feel inadequate as a wife and woman. My co wife and I are very good friends. Although my requests for a little help with the children fall on deaf ears.. We talk every day and see eachother once a week on Sundays. We all spend Sundays together for the children since 7 days a week can not be divided by 2 and since he spends so little quality time with them. I can not imagine how much harder this would be if she and I didn't like eachother! U have helped me so much by the grace of Allah! And I thank u! I think my struggle may also end in divorce. I have often thought to myself how much would be lifted off my shoulders and mind if I just walk
away from this. I can not yet see the end to the emotional roller coaster and am not sure how much more I can take.

Thank u so much for continuing your blog. Alhumdulilah !

My email is

mena said...

SubhanAllah. This is such a shock for me. I just assumed you have been busy when you did not write.I sincerely pray Allah make everything easy for you and the girls. I don't know what your real situation is but please sister, take your time before thinking of getting married again. I have been called a pessimist also but I could have sworn a high percentage of muslim men are prone to making thier wives miserable and they really don't care half of the time. Even if you find a good man who is willing to marry you and take care of the girls, how are you sure he is not going to walk around looking for more wives that he cannot afford to care for after you. And, if you chose to marry one that is already married you would be causing heartache to another sister as you have experienced in the past. I am not saying dont get married again but think it over very well and beg Allah for help and guidance. Make your relationship with Allah your priority and then focus on the girls. Another marriage is likely to distract you from them now except Allah blesses you with a good man who makes you AND the girls his priority. I pray Allah guides you to what is best for you all.

amatullah76 said...

Mashaallah, good for you. i'm glad you got out of the toxic situation and are moving on.

Anonymous said...

Assalaamu Alaykum. I just saw your blog. If you'd like feel free to follow both of mine and comment. May Allah (SWT) help you.

amatullah76 said...

Salaam and welcome back! So happy you have moved on!

Wayfarer said...

SubhanAllah!!! I am so surprised & pleased to hear from you! I periodically would check this blog, hoping for an update.

Alhamdulileh, I am so glad to hear you are doing better. Alhamdulileh, it sounds like you made a good decision for you and your family! I've heard from sisters whose marriages have hit rock bottom - when it gets to that point, you just know. Then the healthiest thing for all involved is to move on.
I've heard that while taking that first step is very scary, once you start on that new path, but if it really was the right way to go, Allah will make it easier for you than you imagined.
I'm happy to hear your iman survived intact through all of this, and alhamdulileh that it's increasing.
With all of life's tests, the only true Help and Wisdom comes from Allah! Never let go of that handhold! People often give up, lose patience, and turn away - but that is their deepest mistake.
No matter how hard life gets, never lose your faith in Allah - and there is a reason for everything. Trust in Him!

Alhamdulileh sister, again, I'm so glad to hear from you & that things are going well.

Aliyah Hassani said...

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmathullah wa barakatuhu

I think you have no need to apologise for not blogging for "toooooo long". You have been incredibly diligent compared with me as I have just come back after three and a half years away.

Like you I have been through some highly traumatic times and maybe, when you have time and if you might like to talk more, my email is

Alhamdulillah as with you, I had faith in Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and He has guided me through a time of what could have been unbearable painful. He granted me the strength to handle my grief and I am sure he will do the same with you insha'Allah.

You will be in my duaa and I hope we can "meet" sometime.

Hugs Aliyah

Anonymous said...

Assalam Sis,

I used to read your blog some years back.Just thought of you suddenly last ngt and googled and here I am.I am glad you got out of it.may Allahs peace and blessings be with you always.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy to hear from you. I am in the beginning stages as a first wife so your blogs has been a good resource.Please contact me at if you would like.

khadijahconway said...

Salams sister, Alhamdulillah you sound great. Please write something in my email i have story to tell you in private.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very happy for you that you have overcome and that allah swt has made you a stronger person. You are a mother, a leader of your daughters and I wish you all the best in your future. I read your blog from beginning to end and my heart ached so much for you.

Seeing this post, admittedly in a belated fashion, made my heart swell for you.