I'm so upset at the state the Muslim ummah is in right now. Why can't we get it together and take care of our own? We have the best example (the Prophet saaw) and we still don't use his example as our guide. Many of our women are being mistreated and their God given rights are being taken or abused. No wonder people think we are oppressed. I don't blame them. Where is the Islam in the hearts of our men? Where is their fear of Allah (swt)? I see so many women on daily basis that are in situations where they end up having to settle or be alone.
It is the responsibility of Ummah to provide for our women. We should never have to feel like we have no choice but to either get married to be provided for or to stay in an unhealthy marriage out of fear of financial difficulty. Don't get me wrong I'm not referring to myself here.....My husband is a saint masha Allah compared to some of the men out there, really he is. At the very least he tries. His hands are tied and he bit off more than he can chew. Now he is suffering the consequences of his decisions. The down side is we are all suffering as a result as well. My children love my husband sooooo much. It would be unfair for me to leave him, not for his sake but for theirs. I am not guaranteed that I will find better and really the chances of me finding better are very slim and so if I leave him I will be alone and they will not have a dad around so how exactly would I benefit? I would reclaim my dignity? I am willing to sacrifice my dignity temporarily...eventually the girls will grow older insha Allah and then only time will tell.I joke with my husband sometimes telling him that once the girls get older (insha Allah if I'm still alive) I will still be young and then I will trade him in for a younger model. I'm joking of course. Sometimes making light of the situation is what keeps me sane. Anyways, in the meantime I am trying to improve my iman and I make lots of du3a for my kids and for my marriage. Who is a better helper than Allah? I do not like the situation he put me in but I have to think of the girls even if he didn't.
Anyways back to my point though....I am so tired of hearing the lectures on how to be a good wife. Where are the lectures for the men on how to be good husbands? Where are all the lectures for the men on how to be good fathers? Wouldn't that fix the problems we are facing today in our society? This is a growing epidemic throughout the world and not just the Islamic world. Men are following their desires at the expense of their loved ones. I am not against polygamy when done properly. All persons involved must be on the same page. We must all have the same goal (attaining jannah) and we must all try to help one another for the sake of Allah (swt). Acting selfishly will only result in disunity.
To all the men out there thinking of entering into polygamy.... POLYGAMY IS HARD!!!! IT IS HARD!!! It's a HUGE responsibility and a trust. If you cannot live up to it and the regulations set for it then DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!
Many men are delusional and believe that they masha Allah can be the SAVIORS of these poor helpless single women out there, all the while neglecting the families they already have and putting these women in worse situations than what they began with. These women deserve better than what you have to offer. They deserve a whole husband not half. If you can only marry a woman if she pitches in some of the bills then you shouldn't marry another woman. If you can only marry another woman if she gives up some of her time, then you shouldn't marry another woman. If you can only marry another woman if the marriage is to remain a secret, then you shouldn't marry another woman. If you can only marry another woman if she receives government assistance, then you shouldn't marry another woman. If you barely make enough to support the first family and barely have enough time for the first family, then you shouldn't marry another woman. If you haven't paid off your debts, then you shouldn't marry another woman. You're not SAVIORS!!!
IF you are really doing it for the sake of Allah then why not marry the one who are really in desperate situations? What about the elderly ladies? Or the disabled ladies? Would you still be that noble? Think about it! If you want to help a Muslim sister out there, there is something called sadaqah and Zakat. Allah (swt) warns that if you cannot be just then JUST ONE! Some men say,"I am being just. I come home late from work to her house just like I come home late from work to the other ones house." LOOOOL! Just in being UNJUST is not what the Quran addressed. May Allah make it easy on the women of this Ummah and bless them with true righteous husbands who are fearful of Allah (swt) and can be righteous towards their wives be it one, two, three or four! Say AMEEN!!! :)