Saturday, January 13, 2007

For many of you this post is going to be a shock as it was for me. Well Safa it looks like polygamy isn't contagious, but pregnancy might be. Subhan Allah!!!! No Lisa is not pregnant, but I am. Looks like # 5 will be on the way insha Allah sometime in September. What a shocker huh??? Who would have thought? Lisa has been trying to get pregnant for over the past four or five months and here I am trying not to get pregnant and WHABOOM! There you have it.

My husband and I have been having problems as usual. This whole polygamy thing is so confusing and emotionally consuming that I didn't know what to do anymore so I did as I always do....I made istikhara. The answer? Pregnant!!!! Hmmmmmmm. Does that mean Allah thinks I should leave him? AHHHHHH......NO! DUH! So here I go again.....Hangin in there insha Allah until I have my next break down, but insha Allah I will keep going. There is nothing wrong with getting weak sometimes. I am human. I am strong sometimes and weak at other times, but the important thing is to redirect myself and look at what I am really here for? What is the bigger picture? What is my purpose? My life is not about me.....My life is about my Islam. I must stay within the straight path and beat this or I will be given something harder. If I am to be called a Muslimah then I WILL face trials and tribulations.....Better my trials then to have someone elses. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!

You know I grip and complain mainly when I focus on what other people have that I think I should have too, but what is meant for you might not be meant for me. Instead of me focusing on how hard it is having four young kids, I should be thankful because some people would kill to have what I have. Instead of being displeased with having my husband part time, I should be thankful that I at least have my husband. Some women have husbands all to themselves who work out of town and they barely see them, husbands that are home out of work and they wish they would just leave, husbands would pass away and can never get them back and so on. I am truly blessed in every aspect of my life. Even when I get upset about having a co-wife I can always think at least she and I are able to be friends with one another or at least my husband is not commiting zina or with a woman who is truly trying to take him from me. We must always look to those who have less than us if we want to be forever grateful for the bounties Allah has provided us with.

Start today and make a list of those things you can say alhamdulillah for. Post up your list and never forget. We are human.....We forget! Even in the worst possible situation we can find good. Isn' that truly the beauty of Islam? So here I am.... I am going to thank Allah for giving me a new life within me for it is truly a blessing. Thank you Allah for giving me a husband who is happy and content with my pregnancy because it is the decree of Allah. Thank you Allah for my Beautiful kids and step kids. Thank you Allah for my supportive mother and friends. Thank you Allah for Lisa who congratulated me and our husband on the pregnancy and for her offering to bring me anything that I crave any morning before she goes to work and that all I have to do is ask. Alhamdulillah for this blog which allows me to remind myself and others of the things we take for granted that are right before our eyes. Love you all dearly!!! I'll keep you posted more often now that I am plugged back in. Still haven't had time to catch up, but I promise to try to be done soon insha Allah.