Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Still early, but Subhan Allah!!!

pregnancy week by week

I'm Back!!!

As salamu alikum to anyone who has been reading my blog. I know it's been a long time since I've written, but finally after 8 months of being mute I decided to come back and share my thoughts. Instead of speaking of specific incidents that occur in my life I will try to just talk in general based on my views, my opinions and my experiences. As many of you know I decided to stop writing because of my guilty conscious. Although I felt I had every right to speak about my life and how I feel about being in a polygynous marriage, I realized that I wasn't only writing about myself ; I was depicting my husband and my co-wife the way that I felt they looked, behaved and thought but that it was all based on my view. It is not fair to them that I speak about them when they do not have the chance to express their view of what happened. Anyways everyone now knows that my blog is based on my own personal thoughts and my own personal feelings of the events that occurred. My husband is not an oppressive monster and my co-wife is not a lousy home-wrecker. lol. Ok now that that is clear. Let me just catch you up without going into too much detail. My hubby and I didn't divorce (surprise, surprise!!!). My co-wife and I are no longer friends. It first started as an order from my husband to save him the headache and then she just felt that it was easier for her us not being close friends and that she had less arguments with him in the time we were not allowed to speak. So it's been almost a year and a half since we hung out regularly. Alhamdulillah that too took adjusting , but I came to finally realize that life is all about adjustments.....Nothing will ever EVER stay the same and that you will drive yourself insane if you try to make it stay that way. Alhamdulillah Allah (swt) has given humans the ability to forget, the ability to heal, the ability to cope and the ability to adjust. The girls and I are doing great alhamdulillah. They are growing and getting even more beautiful and unique masha Allah. If you last remember I have five daughters. The eldest is almost 10 insha Allah, the second is 8, the third is almost 5 masha Allah, the fourth is 3 1/2 and the youngest is a year and a half old. They are all as different as can be; they each come with a challenge, but Alhamdulillah for all of them. Something new: I got my child development associates credentials. This year I have been working full-time at the Islamic school my girls attend. It's been nice because I get to pay for their tuition and I get a little pocket money on the side. I moved to a place I love and got to re-decorate it the way I love. I saved a little money and bought new furniture.....That was really nice. Alhamdulillah I can say I am happy. Working has allowed me to stay busy and focus on things other than my husband having another wife. I wish I had more time for worship, but that is also a weakness in my iman. My husband and I are better alhamdulillah and masha Allah we are expecting baby #6. Surprise surprise!!!