Thursday, June 07, 2007
Insha Allah I am having another girl. That's what the ultrasound says at least. Of course nothing is 100%, but that's what I am going by for now insha Allah. I am happy with that and so is my husband alhamdulillah. We both love girls so the more the merrier insha Allah. So this makes five girls masha Allah!!! Having this many girls has got me thinking of how I am contributing to the higher rate of women versus men. This is of course by the Will of Allah (swt), but it made me realize that the chances of my daughters being in a polygamous relationship will only increase. So what do I want for them? I want to somehow re-program my children. I want my children to grow up loving polygyny. I want them to live with it as a normal fact of life. I do not want my children to feel isolated or betrayed if it were to ever happen to them. No one is saying that they have to enter into polygyny, but I want to prepare them for the possibility of it so it is not a shock if it were to ever happen to them. This weekend I attended a lock-in (sleep-over) at a masjid and one of the lectures that was given was about how to be a happy Muslim wife. One of the other women that attended the gathering was someone I am well acquainted with. This woman is in her 50's, very beautiful, very independent, and very intelligent and is looking to get married. She is in need physically, emotionally and financially for a husband. While she was listening to the lecture you can see the sadness in her face. During the prayer she was crying so much.......I felt awful for her. You can sense her desperation to be a wife. Here she was suffering without a husband, but there were not many available to her. Nowadays most of the men are married especially ones who are close to her age. I really felt bad for her and it made me realize the true need for polygynyous marriages. These sisters are just as worthy of having good husbands as anyone else. Why can't we be better and tell our husbands (if they are capable) to take on another wife? I know it is soooo easy to say and sooooo hard to do, but then what is the solution? If every women says...."Not my man....." Then what will these women be left to do? Jealousy in polygyny is normal no one wants to share their husband, but I feel as Muslims we need to re adjust our mindset and become more accepting rather than rejecting. Polygyny practiced according to the guidelines set in the Sunnah can be a great benefit to all the parties involved and to the ummah as a whole. Insha Allah I plan to start with my little army of girls. Preparing them will strengthen them insha Allah.