Saturday, September 02, 2006

The other day my husband told me that maybe we could go out to eat together before he had to leave for work at 6:00 p.m. So we made plans to go eat seafood after he ran his errands. Anyways the time passed and he was not able to come in time for us to go out and I was fine with that. I understood that he had to go apply for a daytime shift and so I was not upset at all. He was very sweet about it and felt bad so he told me that that Saturday on my day we could go to Kemah and eat at a very nice seafood resturaunt. This place is apprx. 45 minutes away.

Anyways I had planned to meet with Lisa to go out for dessert the same day on sat, but I planned it to where she and I can go after he leaves for work. Yesterday she and I were talking and she said that maybe we could go out to eat seafood (she knew I was craving it) and then go to the Sweet Factory in the daytime. I felt bad excluding her or maybe I felt she would be hurt if she found out that I was going to Kemah with our husband so I told her that I was thinking of asking him to go and that she could come if she'd like. I was also afraid she'd find out from my daughters.

Anyways today my husband asked me why I invited her to come along. I asked him why not? I figured she was his wife so why would he mind? I didn't know I had to ask him first. He said that she asked him if it was ok for her to come along because I had invited her to go. He told her that we weren't sure if we were going or not and that he'd rather her not come because it is an uncomfortable situation when it is the three of us together. Well that was new for me to hear. Why is it uncomfortable??? He said that it's because he can't act himself with either of us and he doesn't want to hear from either of us did this and that with her or said this and that to her and not to me. He said my days with him are for me and that his days with her are for her, but that he didn't have a problem with the two of us hanging out together when he's not with us unless it's a necessity.

I told him that that wasn't the case with him the day we went to the waleemah. I said you invited her to go although she and your sister don't talk and I was willing to trade days. He asked her to go even though she and I were on bad terms at the time, without even warning me or telling me ahead of time. So how come now it's an issue? Anyways I was a little irked by it and I almost cancelled our trip. But he sweet talked me a little so I gave in and we went.

Alhamdulillah we had a nice time. When we came back he left to go pick up the truck for work and my sis-in-law, the kids and I went to meet Lisa at Sweet Factory. When she arrived she called me and asked me where I was at....I told her that I was in the store next door. She asked me..."Guess who's here?" I asked, "Who?" She said, "Our Husband." I was shocked. Why did he come if he doesn't want to be in the same place as us? She was thinking the same and she called him out on it. She asked him and he said that he came to pray. She told him why did you have to come to pray at the place where you knew we were gonna be? That's a valid question, Isn't it? Anyways he got annoyed by that.

We left the store and went to sweet factory and he stayed in the store (they have a musalla) to pray. When we went to sweet factory I noticed that his truck was parked infront of it. I figured (I know my husband by now) that he wants to have an excuse to come to sweet factory and that's why he parked there. So Lisa and I are thinking that the reason he came was because he likes for people to know that we both are his young niqabee wives who get along as best friends would. Kinda showing off. LOL. Men will be MEN!

Anyways just as I expected he came to sweet factory and had to let the people see him with us and I could see his proud smile and he said salam to us and left. lol. He doesn't mean any harm, but it reminds me of a little boy who is eager to show his new toy that he loves so much to the world. We thought it was funny. He doesn't want to be with the two of us, but he wants to be seen with the two of us. Why are men so confusing????


Cairogal said...

Sorry if this questions appears to be too personal, but your profile says that you're Egyptian. Is that so? Rather, are your parents of Egyptian origin? Just curious!

vena said...

It's not a personal question and I am happy to answer it. My parents and I are of egyptian origin.

Musleema said...

asalaamualaikum vena,

maybe she asked that because your writing doesn't "seem" to fit into the mold of egyptian woman, whatever that is, lol. I admit though had you not said you were egyptian i would of thought you were Amrikiyya. is your husband and cowife egpytians too?

Cairogal said...

Vena, do you have some family there to lean on? You know this yourself, but the Egyptian family can be the ruling influence in marital concerns. Sometimes I see it as 'interferring', but other times I think of it as the whole "it takes a village" approach. It's nice to have your family members back you up if/when hubby starts behaving in a manner that is not religiously acceptable. Good luck to you-hope things remain upbeat on your end.

vena said...

As salamu alikum....Musleema my husband is Palestinian, but born and raised in Saudi. Never set foot in Palestine, but still Palestinian. You know how that goes!!! And my co-wife is Mexican. He always had a thing for mexicans. How can you not living in Texas??? LOL. Cairogal alhamdulillah I have my mother and father in the US. My mom lives three hours away, but we get to see eachother a lot and she is bascially the one who helps me out when I have martial problems because my husband respects her so much and loves her a lot. I know what you mean about having your family members there to cover your back. Men tend to act better when they have someone there to look out for the best interest of the family. I will tell you that I have discovered that this is the wisdom in Allah (swt) making sure that a woman cannot marry a man without her gaurdian (wali) present. The job of the Wali is to ensure that the rights of the woman are protected and to be a source of support when dilemas occur. Man I love this religion!!!! Cairogal are you Muslimah???

Muslim Flower said...

Salam alaikum loool I liked the last part I hope that happens with me eventually. Currently I haven't met her yet.... But I would love to get along with her insha Allah and make our husband proud of us spending time together.

Salam alaikum may Allah always make you stronger in Iman

Diana said...

Kemah? Fascinating! I live in the Houston area as well.