Tuesday, August 29, 2006

As salamu alikum to all....Well here I am again. It's been a couple of days, but alhamdulillah things are going well. Masha Allah my life has taken an unexpected turn and just as I felt I was on the brink of divorce....WA-LA!!! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah is all I can say.

My sister in law's waleemah was this Saturday and mind you it was Lisa's day and I didn't know how my husband was going to work out taking me on her day. This was when she and I were still on bad terms.I just let it be and didn't mention it to him and just waited for him to tell me his plan. I was more than willing to trade days with her. The thing is that the waleemah was out of town (3 hours away). So anyways when she and I went to talk to the sheikh and had made up I discovered that my husband had planned on ALL of us going, but in seperate cars. He is lucky she and I had made amends when I found out because if we were still not speaking then I would have thrown a huge fit.

After she and I made amends I was actually wanting to invite her to go with us. Well when she told me that she was already going it caught me by surprise, but I liked the idea because this way I can spend the day with my husband at the waleemah and also have my day the next day. Since she went then I would not have to give up my day.

It was a really nice weekend. I enjoyed her company and it felt nice for us to talk again. I actually missed her. She is not a bad person. What I had a hard time accepting was that our Qadr was for her to be my husband's wife....not my friend. Now I realize that her Qadr was to be my husband's wife AND my friend. She and I text message now, but nice messages of course. I don't really call to talk because I don't want to push it and I haven't asked her to go anywhere because I want to take things slow.

At the waleemah people were shocked to discover we were co-wives. But we got lots of compliments and good advice. One woman told us and wallhi this is true....That our marriage to our husband and our relationship with one another is now Ibbadah. Ya Allah!!! That really touched me. It is true. We are only here to Worship Allah (swt) and we have to use every portal we have to do that even with our co-wives.


Safa said...

Masha Allah, you are on a path that I am so far from....but I compliment you on working things out.....always remember that Allah's plan will always take precendence over you own....

mizazeez said...

assalaamu ^alayki ya ukhti. gosh, i feel like i've been so disconnected from my fellow sister bloggers. just been busy is all. anyway...the connection that the sister made and you re-affirmed about your relationship with your co-wife being ibaadah is so true. it was my coming to this realization that helped me get through my initial period of duress when my husband expressed his intent to get married again. whenever i approach anything in our marriage, whether it's connected to my co-wife or not, i try to remind myself of this ibaadah aspect. also try to remind myself of the two angels that are constantly recording every action and word that each of us does and how on the Day of Yaumul Qiyamma everything that we ever said and did will be presented before us and we will be held accountable for it all. but even more, it is only by the Mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala that we will be forgiven.

iMuslimah said...

Assalamu alaykum sister,

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I found your blog a few days ago, but I don't remember how.

Honestly, I dont know anyone involved in P marriage (at least that I am aware of). Occasionally Ive seen pm horror stories, but yours is different. I admire your ability to see through this for the sake of Allah.