Do's and don'ts for men in polygny...... (please feel free to add to my list)
What are some rules that husbands should follow to make a polygamous marriage run smoothly???
For the Men....
1. Never call one wife infront of the other for any reason unless absolutely and I mean absolutely necessary.
2. Do not put love-names for any of your wives on your mobile phone.
3. Lock your cell phone so your wives do not get the urge (shaytan is always whispering) to read your text messages or listen to you voicemail from your other wife.
4. Do not buy groceries or things like that for one wife when you are shopping for the other (if they do not get along).
5. Do not wear any new clothes or obvious items that were gifts from one wife on the day of the other wife.....especially new underwear
6. If one wife gives you a card as a thoughful gesture keep it at her house....Do not leave it in your car, bag, etc. We wives can be sneaky and Shaytan is always whispering.
7. Do not give your wives hikki's in any visible place. This is a no no and must be avoided so as to not cause harm to someone's feelings.
8. Do not discuss your private affairs from one home to the other.
9. Do not compare your wives to other people or to eachother.
10. Do not discuss intimate details about one wife with the other.
11. Always compliment your wife and make her feel special and loved.
12. Do not compliment the other wife to the wife you are speaking to. We take that as you are indirectly insulting us.
13. If your wife is sad, angry or hurt then be patient with her and realize that this is not easy.
14. Spend as much time as you can with your kids. At this time the kids are more important than the wives.
15. This goes without saying.....Be fair and just when it comes to spending and time.
16. Do not force one wife to live with the other wife for any reason unless she is willing.
17. Do not lower the standard of living for either wife.
18. Be honest with your wives when it comes to marriage to other women or pregnancies. Do not hide what's halal
19. Do not tell any wife that you love her more than the other even if you do.
20. Be careful what you say or do infront of the children because they may unknowingly or knowingly say these things to the other family.
21. Do not fight with one wife infront of the other. This is humiliating to the wife being fought with and uncomfortable for the wife witnessing it. Also we do not need to know when there is trouble in the household. We tend to get ours hopes up for a divorce at that point which may not happen and then we will feel disappointment.
If you care to add to this list or argue a point with any of them then please feel free to do so. I will post for the women in the next post insha Allah.
Fi amman Allah