Monday, August 07, 2006

Ramadan came and we had a great time. We gathered at my house and the houses of other sisters. We ate future at the masjid almost every night. During this time I started noticing brief moments of flirtation between my husband and Lisa. I made the mistake of not keeping them completely separate; not that they were always together either, but enough to ignite feelings I guess. I thought that oh as long as I am constantly there in their presence nothing would happen and it wouldn't count as khilwa. WRONG!!!!! Stupid...Stupid....Stupid. I used to out of total stupidity have her call my husband for me to ask him if we could go to such and such a place because I wanted to avoid arguments with him. The three of us would eat suhoor together before fajr and sometimes when he had time he would give her mini Islamic lessons. They used to talk when it had to do with finding her a job or a husband or about fixing her car or about her son. Even though I sensed something more happening I didn't confront him about it.....Which is totally out of character for me. Later I started noticing her distancing herself from me. She didn't come over EVERYDAY anymore and didn't spend the night EVERYNIGHT anymore. You'd think that would be enough of a clue, but I am a very naive person. I had a feeling something was cookin, but tried not too think about it too much because I knew it wouldn't go anywhere......Or so I thought!!! During this time Lisa started staying with her non-Muslim best-friend and had to help her friend with her kids by picking them up from school and dropping them off and her sons school was closer to her friend then to my house so it wasn't too far off for her to stay there.

Oct. 23, 2005 was the first day of the last ten days of Ramadan and also the day Allah (swt) blessed me with my fourth beautiful baby girl. It was a great night and she was supposed to be there, but she was too sick and unable to make it. I didn't see her until a few days later and then we went back to our regular routine of hanging out.

I couldn't wait for the day when her iddah from her ex-husband would be over so she would be able to re-marry again and start her life anew. I wanted her happiness and I knew that she was in need of companionship and a chance at a fresh start . My husband was actively trying to find her a husband, but had to wait to pursue any kind of a meeting between her and potential husbands due to the fact that she was still in her waiting period. I couldn't wait for that day and neither could she.

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