Monday, August 07, 2006

December 2005
I invited some of my friends one day for a picnic at the park across the street. Lisa came and brought her son and her friend's sons. The picnic was fun and everyone had a nice time, but as the day progressed I noticed Lisa was distant and deep in thought. Her reactions when I brought up my husband in subjects with my friends was strange as well. I felt her unease. I felt her depression and although I had an intuition as to what it was about I kept quiet and waited for her to speak. She drifted off in the middle of the picnic with the older daughter of the two from my husband and I and began to swing with her on the swing until my daughter fell asleep on her lap. I used this moment to go see what was on her mind. I can tell she wants to tell me something, but is hesitant. Her hesitance is making me nervous. I sat on the swing beside her and engaged her in conversation. I brought up the brother (Ahmed) who wanted to meet her and somewhere in the conversation she brought up polygamy. I told her that it would be hard for me to do it although I am not against it. I asked what was wrong because she was starting to worry me. She said, "Nothing.....There are some things on my mind I want to talk about, but maybe when you and I can be alone I will tell you." At this moment I knew, but continued to play stupid. I told her okay that I would arrange for my husband to watch the kids while she and I go and talk somewhere.
We were very excited at the chance of leaving the kids and getting away to talk alone, but we weren't sure if my husband would agree. To our amazement (but a part of his plan) he agreed.

We went home and sat in my room and I tried to ply it out of her. No one was with us so it was a good chance to talk in private and talk is exactly what she did. She was hesitant at first to speak up, but I told her it was okay and she could tell me whatever it was and that we are friends and she should trust me. I think this comforted her and she began to express that she had feelings for someone. I acted surprised and asked her who it was. She didn't want to say, but finally did. My heart was racing in my chest at this point because all my suspicions were about to be confirmed. She said my husband's name and admitted to me that she "likes" him. I acted shocked, but was laughing so she didn't see how uncomfortable I was hearing this. I started to ask her the when, how, and why questions. The answers weren't too clear, but enough to get the message across that she had interest in him. Not only did she have interest in him, but she told me that she is willing to be a co-wife if I was open to the idea. At this point I didn't know what to say. I told her my worries. I told her that financially it was not possible and that time would be difficult for me because I don't see him enough as it is. Those were my to main points aside from my personal insecurities. I told her we would discuss it more when we went out. My husband came home and we left.

We went to IHOP for a quiet setting. Lisa drank coffee and we shared a fruit crepe. We talked more about why I did not think it was a good idea. I was very nice about it and didn't say anything to hurt her feelings at all. I made sure that she understood that it was nothing personal against her, but at this point I didn't think I could do it. She told me that she would leave it at my discretion whether or not I told him about her feelings and what we talked about. She told me that if I tell him then the idea will enter his mind and he may be interested as well and act on it, but that if I chose not to mention it then she wouldn't say anything and that she would just keep away. We left it at that. So now it was up to me. When we went home he tried to pry out what we had talked about, but I could tell he already knew. It's a woman's 6th sense. What a blessing?!!! As she was about to leave my house that night my husband and I asked her to call us when she got home because it was late and we wanted to make sure she made it home safely. She told us that she wasn't going to call because she was still going to drive around some more and think and it would be too late. We told her we didn't care how late it was, but for her to call.

My husband and I were making love that night and finally she called........
from a payphone. Where was she? I answered and she told me that she was at a gas station (one that we knew was not too safe). When I told her to go home she said she didn't want to yet. At this point it was past midnight and my husband was visibly getting angry and he yelled, "Tell her to GO HOME!!!" At that moment my heart knew before I did.

A couple of days passed and I decided to call her. I was normal and making small talk when she told me indirectly and not so bluntly to basically, "Cut the shit....things aren't the same." She asked me if I had told him about what we talked about and I told her that I hadn't because I couldn't. As our conversation continued she started to make comments that made me weary. She mentioned two things specifically that stood out in my mind. #1 was that she could call him and tell him how she feels at anytime and see how he feels about it, but that she wouldn't do that to me and #2 was that her friend had asked her if she would ever marry him behind my back and her answer to her friend was that if she felt she was going to do something haram then yes she would. WHAT????? Excuse me....did I miss something here????

After this conversation I decided that I had to get two of them together and we all needed to talk about the situation as mature adults. I was terrified that she would go behind my back and tell him her feelings and I would be left out of the loop. I am not going to go into detail as to what was said, but to give you an idea....it was her expressing her feelings to him, I expressed my reluctance to them, he expressed his feelings towards her and how he was open to the idea, and in the end I was heart-broken. She left and then my husband and I were left walking on egg-shells.

2 comments:

dianiya said...

my heart broke for you again...reading those last few lines. :(

reeahanah said...

wow