Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Thank You Browngurl for your comment. You made a lot of points that really struck me. The first comment was you pointing out that I seem like the type that wears their heart on their sleeve. This is sooooo true. I know this is not always wise, but it is who I am. I am trying to change it, but deep down it is still there. This characteristic in me helps me to forgive easily..... sometimes even forget. It does hurt me a lot, but it's me!!! lol.

Another thing you said was, "This other sister is not competing against you; you have already defeated yourself. Stop comparing yourself!!" All I have to say is WOW!!! That is so true and I never looked at it that way. You are right about finding my own things to focus on and lately that's just what I've been doing.

I am taking child daycare management classes that I hope to complete soon. I babysit A LOT so why not make it a profession??!!!! I thought I would take it a step further and do this for myself so I would not have to depend on anyone. Alhamdulillah recently I have been getting more business and it has been a great distraction. I am not going to lie though....I have had some lapses lately. I will mention it later today insha Allah, but for now I have to get to my kids.


Ummrania said...

Assalmau Alaikum

I just spontaneously came on today just to check after months of not being here and was delighted to see that you are back! Oh sister! I love you so much! Your blog touches me so much because I feel like I could have written it (I am a single wife-alhamdulillah, until now-but I mean IF my dh took another). May Allah guide you all and give you what is best. In the end sister, it doesnt matter who he loves more (and I happen to think being the mother of his children gives you a major heads up anyway..) in the end this life is very very short..this trial for you can be what gives or takes Jannah so be stong sister. When things get tough just make dua for Allah to reward you with that which is better.........inshaAllah he will.
May Allah guide you all, may he give you that which is good in this life, the next life, and may he keep you far removed from the punishment of the hell-fire!!!!!!

Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barkatahu!


Yosra said...

Asalamalaykom Sr. V.,

I am happy for you. You sound like a breath of fresh air has envigerated you! Alhumdulillah. You know, these relationships can be a part of who we are, but they need not be the whole definition of who we want to be. May God continue to bless you with clarity and sense of purpose.

Lady Nomadica said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Vena. I'm not a Muslima, but when I stumbled on your blog last year, I felt for you. And I don't think polygamy is necessarily good or bad; it depends on the spirit of those who undertake it. Are they serious, thoughtful? Can they handle it? You know the answer for yourself. Your great heart can be seen in how you've tried to make this work. You may break down in this way or that, but look at the great stress you are under through no fault of yours! We are all humans, sometimes weak, sometimes childish, but all we can do is try and you've tried really hard.
Whatever happens, I wish you and your children well, and wisdom to the adults in the picture. Asalamu Alaikum. Bless you.

Browngurl said...

Asalam Alaykum Sister,

I am so glad to see that you are taking charge or your life. There is nothing wrong with having a big heart ahumdulilah- compassion is a gift from Allah. Don't even change, just remember that you can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first! Taking care of Vena means that she can be a better Muslim, a better mother, a better wife a better business woman and so on.

The awesome thing about us is as Muslims is that we know that every compartment of our life (personal, professional and so on) all ultimately goes back to pleasing Allah (the highest of all goals).

Take the time to think about what is your ultimate vision for your life and all your dreams. Allah is capable of giving us ANYTHING!!! Make an ultimate duaa list/ultimate goals list, compartmentalize those different aspects of your life (example: spiritual, financial, personal, professional, children and family) and then work towards your goals. So many people want things in their life but they often forget that the first thing they should do is to ask Allah for it.

Life Is gonna knock us down and challenge us is ways that we can not imagine- that’s part of the human experience. We are gonna have lapses. We are gonna have low times. We should allow ourselves to feel whatever that feeling is, but then we have to set a limit and get up and move on. Look towards the future, don’t live in regret of the past. Resilience and rebounding are techniques that we have to constantly work on.

What is that saying, it’s always darkest before the dawn!


Ummrania said...

Assalmau Alaikum

Again, standing ovation for Browngurl!

Assalamu Alaikum

Safa said...

I just read more into this than you are really saying, Vena. And I suppose I've seen it in your writings before now.

Who knows what the future holds......stay among the steadfast........

Anonymous said...

Assalamo Aliekoum

I just wanted to say that you are a amazing woman mashallah. I see you all the time and everytime I see you-you seem to be stronger mashallah. You are an amazing friend and SUPER babysitter! I could not imagine doing a better job at being a wife, mother, friend, and work too subhanallah! When im feeling like I cant take it I think Okay what would "vena" do in this situation, you make it look so easy mashallah.
I know he may have told her that but there are certian kinds of people that ask unethical questions and push and push and push untill they hear what they want to hear. She might have been feelign insecure and would not stop pushing him untill he said what she wanted him to say. Dont hate him for it and only allah knows if its true anyways. You are doing a great job with your business and keep up the good work.

LOL see you Saterday.... heheh Keep you guessing who this is LOL! You will be looking around the room like " is it you?... no YOU... no YOU"

Anonymous said...

Last Anony--if ya don't know it's from the Sunnah not to spy on your brother/sister. Inshallah you "out" yourself.

Anonymous said...

Please comtact me. I have tried to reach you at your Yahoo group. You are a great inspiration to me. I am becoming a Muslim soon but am having second thoughts about it because of Polgny. I want to understand it before I become a Muslim.