Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I am soooooo embarassed to even say what it was that I got angry about. lol. I am sooooo childish sometimes. Believe it or not I got mad because my husband was shopping at walmart with HER. I know that sounds so dumb, but it's because anytime I want to go shopping with him he complains about going with all the kids and tells me to go with his sister. We had the kids before and we used to go to the store almost everyday. I feel it's not fair that I don't really get to spend time with him because I have kids. He says she complains because I am getting too much time. I guess that's shaytan's trick on the both of us. Anyways she and I got into our first screaming match on the phone through him. When I was done with my little temper tantrum I called and apologized to him because truly it was not my right to get mad. It was her day and they could do whatever they wanted. I guess I was just mad because I expected her to go to work and she didn't. Man this is soooooo annoying. I feel like a kid. I know he loves me so why do I freak out? Anyways at least I am not too proud to admit when I make a mistake. I guess my Egyptian temper gets the better of me....lol (safa ;)

Anyways my mom is here visiting me for a few days and I am soooooo happy. She is trying to help me find ways to cope. Alhamdulillah she is my encouragement and support. Masha Allah! Masha Allah! Masha Allah she is a woman who fears Allah and has way more eman than me. When I am down she reminds me of the Hearafter and how this Duniya is worth nothing. Ain't that the truth!!!!??? She told me that maybe getting a job is the solution to my problem. Working in an Islamic school sounds great and I get to have my kids near me at the same time. I will try to keep myself so busy that I won't have time to even think of what the two of them are doing. Hey it's worth a shot don't you think?


Muslim Mommie said...

Naam, working in an islamic school sounds like a great idea, masha-Allah. sounds like something beneficial for you and the children.

I know exactly how you feel, when it comes to the time thing because me and my husband very rarely get alone time. And he also gets annoyed at times when we have to bring the kids with us whenever we go out.

The children are always here with me, masha-Allah and when he's with my co-wife the kids are with me as well. I get jealous sometimes and then i seek refuge because that seems to be the only thing that helps right me right away.
alhumdullilah that you are able to recognize when the shaytaan is whispering and are able to fight him off and if not, repent masha-Allah. I like that about you.

vena said...

Jazaki Allah khair. Sometimes I feel my situation is not fair (a3uthoo billah), but I know that as jealous of our co-wives as we are that they don't have kids and they get our husbands sll to themselves; they are just as jealous of us because we have families with them. Shaytan messes with both sides till he gets one to give up. I know this sounds bad, but I hope she gives up before me. Astaghfir Allah!