tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-322078262012-02-14T12:53:16.885-06:00Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comBlogger851100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-54156651563374963742012-01-06T17:19:00.002-06:002012-01-06T17:25:54.196-06:00

As salamu alikum Ladies....I would like to share a link that a special friend sent me and would like to share her story. Please go there and show your support! http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/Love you all for the sake of Allah :)

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-29992000571556074372011-12-31T01:55:00.005-06:002011-12-31T02:23:33.446-06:00

As salamu alikum.....I know it has been toooooooo long since I last posted. I apologize for not responding or writing, but I have just been through so much. I will say that I have been divorced a year now and alhamdulillah I am happy. I am taking care of my 6 girls and we are all doing well masha Allah. The girls are growing and each age has it's challenges, but alhamdulillah we are much better

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-2782452252520316372010-08-15T05:23:00.003-06:002011-12-31T02:13:25.362-06:00

I'm so upset at the state the Muslim ummah is in right now. Why can't we get it together and take care of our own? We have the best example (the Prophet saaw) and we still don't use his example as our guide. Many of our women are being mistreated and their God given rights are being taken or abused. No wonder people think we are oppressed. I don't blame them. Where is the Islam in the hearts of

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-62001759312268201772010-08-13T23:31:00.003-06:002010-08-13T23:38:48.341-06:00

Its so true. Someone posted in my comments....."ISLAM DOES NOT REQUIRE YOU TO BE A MARTYR FOR YOUR HUSBANDS LUST!" And they are right and I tell people this all the time, but factoring in everything and everyone in my life is where I get stuck. It's easy to think I can just leave, but reality is much different. I wish it was as easy as just moving on.

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-70044931531403519082010-07-22T06:28:00.004-06:002010-07-22T06:56:27.393-06:00

Here again. Feeling down, depressed and overwhelmed!!! I love all 6 of my girls, but I don't want to raise them alone. Even though I didn't divorce my husband I am still feeling alone. Now he lives an hour and a half away working like a dog to support two wives who don't even live with him. A part of me wants to be this supportive and appreciative wife to him because he is working to take care of

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-39699947973714550732009-09-14T07:30:00.002-06:002009-09-14T07:54:58.575-06:00

Alhamdulillah things are going good right now. Ramadan has been super busy. Unfortunately I have only been able to fast 8 days this Ramadan, but alhamdulilah it's better than nothing. Pregnancy is going well masha Allah and I was told that insha Allah I am having another girl. lol. Yes that makes 6. We will have another ultrasound done on Sept.28th insha Allah so I will keep all of you posted.

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-65519634253073545222009-04-28T22:03:00.002-06:002009-04-28T22:17:03.331-06:00

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-6903523148316957552009-04-28T11:02:00.004-06:002009-04-28T21:43:36.308-06:00

As salamu alikum to anyone who has been reading my blog. I know it's been a long time since I've written, but finally after 8 months of being mute I decided to come back and share my thoughts. Instead of speaking of specific incidents that occur in my life I will try to just talk in general based on my views, my opinions and my experiences. As many of you know I decided to stop writing because of

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-23746614600055860512008-07-09T07:25:00.003-06:002008-07-09T08:04:16.646-06:00

So this is it. Not only is this going to be my last entry, but this is the day where my husband and I decide to hang in there or call it quits. This past month or so has been horrible. Full of trials and heart break, but alhamdulillah for everything. I am ok and Insha Allah I will continue to be ok. I will make Istikhara before we meet and will go according to what I feel. So far things point to

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-57834364984564023582008-06-29T21:14:00.004-06:002008-06-29T22:32:51.665-06:00

I am boiling right now. I am soooooooo upset. So today technically would have been my day, but of course we are separated so I don't expect him to come home to be with me. One thing I had hoped though was for him to come on his only day off and at least "attempt" to see the girls. So he didn't call all day and I called him around 5:00 p.m. or so to get permission to go to a friend of a

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-72360932837196999372008-06-27T06:49:00.004-06:002008-06-29T22:32:13.878-06:00

I must admit that I thought I was going to be more upset than I am. Subhan Allah....Until yesterday I didn't realize how much emotional stress I had been fighting for the past however many years. You remember that movie "Waiting to Exhale"? That's how I feel right now. I feel a relief as if I have just exhaled. ALHAMDULILLAH! MASHA ALLAH!

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-59558587316732168072008-06-24T22:58:00.002-06:002008-06-24T23:12:59.010-06:00

So it's finally happened!!! We are officially separated. He spoke with the sheikh and my mother and they both sided with me on the issues I had addressed concern with. He didn't like that of course, but the sheikh still advised him to separate from me until we decide if divorce is really what I want. He doesn't want a divorce or a separation, but then again why would he? He has a place to escape

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-70048124776249598332008-06-21T23:37:00.003-06:002008-06-21T23:55:15.363-06:00

I thought all was well, but I guess not. I refuse to be a doormat!!! I am tired. I just realized that me practicing my faith and building my eman does not require me being married to someone who is not willing to put the same effort in our marriage as I am putting. The sad reality is that he is not even putting a percentage of the effort that I am putting. I am sincerely doubting whether this

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-45546854044048304752008-06-20T23:29:00.004-06:002008-06-21T00:11:47.422-06:00

I feel so depressed! What is wrong with me? It's been two and a half years already and wallahi I thought I was over it. I thought I had gotten to a stage where I was accepting of the whole situation. I thought I was ok, but I'm not and everyday I get worse.I know shaytan is winning over me. I am ashamed to say it, but it's the truth. I feel so far away from Allah right now and I know that this

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-61492422034350141862008-06-16T22:26:00.003-06:002008-06-16T23:56:09.597-06:00

Here is another attempt at me getting real with myself. There has never been a time in my life where I doubted myself as much as I have since my husband married Lisa. I do not know who I am anymore. I do not know what I want to be or who I am becoming. I am in total confusion. My mind is in chaos, my life in turmoil, my faith in examination. Anyone who knows me would think I am handling things

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-86696510486849463952008-05-13T09:17:00.001-06:002008-05-13T09:17:47.394-06:00

Thank You Browngurl for your comment. You made a lot of points that really struck me. The first comment was you pointing out that I seem like the type that wears their heart on their sleeve. This is sooooo true. I know this is not always wise, but it is who I am. I am trying to change it, but deep down it is still there. This characteristic in me helps me to forgive easily..... sometimes even

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-80813845391986045902008-04-30T08:34:00.002-06:002008-04-30T09:04:00.953-06:00

I forgot to mention that my husband forbid Lisa and I from talking to one another. You all didn't know, but for five months Lisa and I hadn't spoken to one another aside from the time her son's appendix ruptured and I went to go visit him in the hospital. We were civil. My husband loved it that way. He was in less trouble that way. Anyways recently she babysat my kids when I really needed

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-22197615421312232132008-04-30T08:04:00.003-06:002008-04-30T08:33:12.845-06:00

So Lately I have been reading The My Two Wives blog and I really enjoy it. I remember a while back I responded on my blog to someone who suggested that the man is probably not being completely honest because he said he cannot honestly say that he loves one wife over the other. I disagreed with that and I started reading his blog and found him to be very genuine. I wish my husband was smart enough

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-10453548914466948802008-01-02T23:35:00.000-06:002008-01-03T00:19:57.204-06:00

I think it's time to share a cute and true polygyny story I heard recently..... There was a man and a woman married for I think over 12 years and they loved each other dearly, but had no children. The wife tried and tried to get pregnant over the years, but they were not successful. Qadr Allah!!! The man loved his wife and did not want to marry another....he just accepted the fact that they

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-29295467663625505962008-01-02T22:59:00.000-06:002008-01-02T23:25:00.189-06:00

I got an idea from the comment Yosra left me advising me to make 2008 a great year. I thought to myself what a great idea that was. Why don't I resolve to make 2008 a great year? I will list some things I resolve to do or not to do and you guys also give me some ideas of some things I should resolve to do or not to do. Insha Allah if Allah gives me life until the next year being 2009 then maybe

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-54341079811391221762008-01-01T00:38:00.000-06:002008-01-01T00:45:25.665-06:00

I went to the Texas Dawah Convention the weekend of the Christmas break and this years convention was about family. I went to many wonderful lectures by many wonderful sheikhs. One of them.....sh. Yasir Birjas spoke of the AAA (triple A) that women need from their husbands. We need Attention, Affection, and Appreciation. Didn't he perfectly sum it up????? What more could we ask for???? Well one

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-30337279448172231932007-12-05T14:20:00.001-06:002008-01-01T00:46:44.168-06:00

All I want to know is.....Will this roller coaster ride ever end???? Ups and downs! Ups and downs! It's neverending! I do not know if I am for or against polygyny. Many days, yes; other days, no! Does that make me a hypocrite? I do not know where I stand most of the time. Am I too emotional? Well I can answer that easily. A lot has happened lately that I haven't had the energy to write about,

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-75426023896209578662007-10-22T16:50:00.000-06:002007-10-22T17:26:15.137-06:00

I apologize for not posting for such a long time, but things have been so stressful lately. I have had to adjust to having a newborn again and this time with four other kids running around and needing my attention. Well let me briefly fill you all in on what's been happening. Alhamdulillah I safely delivered a beautiful and healthy baby girl. That's now number five as predicted. All the girls

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-67108367052978340072007-08-05T20:22:00.000-06:002007-08-05T20:31:03.213-06:00

I wonder if I am going to have the baby on my day or hers!!! lol. I wonder if she is going to be considerate enough to give up some of her days or if they will just depend on my friends and family being there with me to take care of me. I wonder if she will offer to help me without me having to ask. I wonder if my husband will be considerate enough to know that I will need him at this time and

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-10217413266463375372007-07-28T09:55:00.000-06:002007-07-28T11:07:47.069-06:00

So here I am once again. It's been a little hectic around here and therefore it's been pretty difficult to get the time to sit and write. Now that the kids are out of school.....they are driving me nuts. Don't get me wrong. I love the kids and would rather have the chaos than nothing at all, but it's a little overwhelming. So once again I am preparing to move and once again it is at the end of my

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-24615735038267137662007-06-13T03:57:00.000-06:002007-06-13T04:48:36.457-06:00

Well it seems as if I have sparked some controversy by my last posting. At least this is what it seems after reading some of the comments left for me. I am sooooo happy with all of the many views people have on this subject. Sister HA.... I do not live with my mom. I didn't realize that I had not updated on that particular topic ( moving or not moving). The post you are talking about is when I

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-45126577991422059522007-06-07T00:34:00.000-06:002007-06-07T01:04:02.505-06:00

Insha Allah I am having another girl. That's what the ultrasound says at least. Of course nothing is 100%, but that's what I am going by for now insha Allah. I am happy with that and so is my husband alhamdulillah. We both love girls so the more the merrier insha Allah. So this makes five girls masha Allah!!! Having this many girls has got me thinking of how I am contributing to the higher rate

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-90964911317954853282007-04-09T22:59:00.000-06:002007-04-09T23:54:03.167-06:00

Tonight was the first night that I let all my kids go over to Lisa's house while my husband was there and I was not. I guess I had always been afraid of her playing mommy to my kids in front of my husband because I imagined she would probably be a better mom to them than me.My husband has issues with me about the kids. His main battle with me is over the foods they eat. He hates the words mac and

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-87001690039153258112007-03-27T00:48:00.001-06:002007-03-27T00:48:34.721-06:00

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-8313873197113285292007-03-27T00:17:00.001-06:002007-03-27T00:17:45.420-06:00

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-46715512702168970672007-03-06T21:18:00.000-06:002007-03-06T22:13:07.628-06:00

As salamu alikum dear beautiful sisters.... Believe it or not, I was actually contemplating whether or not I should continue my blog. The reason is that I think I have misrepresented my husband's image on here and I feel extremely guilty about that. I know I haven't responded to comments in a long time, but I have been reading them. I feel sad that I have given some sisters the impression that my

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-60110339192589028822007-02-15T15:42:00.000-06:002007-02-15T16:17:32.907-06:00

Man O' Man am I glad to be back.....again! I had to go through 323 e-mail messages today, so you can imagine I haven't been online at all for a while. Let me update you on the new developments. I had a a small scare a few days after my last post. I had to go to the emergency room because I started bleeding and thought I was possibly miscarrying. I know it is normal for some women to bleed while

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1168705324859519052007-01-13T09:55:00.000-06:002007-01-13T10:22:05.076-06:00

For many of you this post is going to be a shock as it was for me. Well Safa it looks like polygamy isn't contagious, but pregnancy might be. Subhan Allah!!!! No Lisa is not pregnant, but I am. Looks like # 5 will be on the way insha Allah sometime in September. What a shocker huh??? Who would have thought? Lisa has been trying to get pregnant for over the past four or five months and here I am

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1167366726054797642006-12-28T20:56:00.000-06:002006-12-28T22:32:06.753-06:00

Some of you may be surprised to hear this, but I have been contemplating getting a divorce from my husband. My emotions are really mixed right now. I am struggling with myself. This is my jihad an-naafs. I don't know what to do? Believe it or not; things between Lisa and I have never been better. We have become very close in the past month and she has really been there for me, but I guess my

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1166562029423017872006-12-19T14:57:00.000-06:002006-12-19T15:00:29.660-06:00

As salamu alikum to all. I finally got internet. I missed being connected to the blog world, but I'm back and so much has happened. Insha Allah I will fill you in the first chance I get, but for now I gotta go cuz the kiddos are coming home soon from school. I can't wait to catch up on what I've missed in everyone's blogs.

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1164260722128244422006-11-22T23:27:00.000-06:002006-11-22T23:45:22.153-06:00

I am moving insha Allah on Saturday from this house to an apartment, but something in my heart is making me very excited about it. I want a fresh start. I want to leave these bad memories behind. I know it's not the house itself, but I had many negative feelings associated with this house because this is where everything from the last year transpired. I am excited to go back to the complex where

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1163561301614056812006-11-14T21:09:00.000-06:002006-11-14T21:28:21.643-06:00

I have a confession to make......yes I am friends with Lisa and all, but I do not like her being with my step kids without me being there. That might sound strange to a lot of you, but that's the truth. I am very territorial when it comes to them. Yes they are not my kids. Yes they are her step kids too. Yes she has a right to have relationships with them as well, but I can't help my feelings. I

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1163133531714902552006-11-09T21:58:00.000-06:002006-11-09T22:38:51.740-06:00

This past tuesday was my day with my husband, but when I began cleaning the house as I normally do I kinnda went into a deep cleaning mission. You ladies know how that goes. You start out intending to clean and you end up making the mess even worse than when you started. There was no way I was going to have the house finished in time for his arrival so I did something I normally wouldn't have

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1163056256427393562006-11-09T00:47:00.000-06:002006-11-09T01:10:56.443-06:00

Alhamdulillah one down and one to go. The oldest of the two boys was enrolled in school today and the younger one is being enrolled tomorrow insha Allah. The same day my husband and I had argued about him possibly having another child in the future I forgot to mention something else that took place. My husband gave his ex and ultimatum...." Put the kids in school by Wed. or I will come get them,

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162974259892226412006-11-08T01:10:00.000-06:002006-11-08T02:24:19.980-06:00

A while back I had intended to write my story of how I came to Islam and never did so I decided tonight is the night. Here goes....As most of you know I am Egyptian. I was born in Egypt to two Egyptian parents. Both my parents are doctors, but my dad joined the American Air Force as a Forensic Pathologist when I was very young and that's how we ended up in the states. My parents immigrated to the

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162837967887624552006-11-06T11:40:00.000-06:002006-11-06T12:32:47.966-06:00

My husband and I fought last night because I told him that if he and my co-wife have a child then I will probably pack my bags and leave. I know a lot of you are thinking that this is wrong, but you just don't understand how screwed up all of our kids are. We have 8 kids between the two of us. Alhamdulillah mine aren't completely screwed up yet, but if things continue the way that they are my

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162526250479982092006-11-02T21:48:00.000-06:002006-11-02T21:57:30.480-06:00

Insha Allah Hubby and I are moving from the house we were renting for the past year back to the apartment complex where we use to live. Insha Allah we are moving to be closer to my daughters' school and to be back next to our favorite masjid alhamdulillah. When I first married my husband we lived in a two bedroom apartment then we moved to a three bedroom in the same complex and now we will move

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162525507552692212006-11-02T21:35:00.000-06:002006-11-02T21:45:07.576-06:00

I have lots of questions roaming in my head about polygyny...... Here are some that strike me.....#1 Is polygyny harder for the first wife, the second wife or is it pretty much even? And in what way is it easier or harder or the same for either one?#2 Would either wife stay in a polygynous marriage if they knew for a fact that their husband loved the other wife more or does each wife just

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1161162329222043342006-10-18T02:58:00.000-06:002006-10-18T03:05:29.223-06:00

I invited Lisa over tonight to come and watch the HBO series "Big Love" with me and my step-daughter. We rented it from Blockbuster although I do not usually watch TV or movies. I have to admit though that I was one of the first people to enter into blockbuster this morning to rent the series. I rented the first 2 volumes out of five. Unfortunatly Lisa was not able to make it tonight, but insha

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1161161881742006362006-10-18T02:50:00.000-06:002006-10-18T02:58:01.756-06:00

Lisa came over two days ago for Iftar and masha Allah we had a great time. Our husband was spending the night in the masjid because it's the last ten days of Ramadan. I invited her over to come and join me and my step-daughter in breaking our fast. We talked, we joked, we laughed and all in all it was a very relaxed night. I guess without my husband being there it took some of the pressure off of

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1160880705342483582006-10-14T20:46:00.000-06:002006-10-14T20:57:35.473-06:00

Lisa and I text message eachother today and here is how it goes.....Lisa: salam. I miss UVena: Salam. Sure U do.Vena: Y don't u ever call me then?Lisa: I like the messages better.(She meant text messages. We love the sound of receiving texts. We text A loooooot. )Vena: So Y not text me then? I was seriously upset with u.( I told my hubby a few days ago how she never calls to invite me, but I

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1160631899747084562006-10-11T23:44:00.000-06:002006-10-12T01:09:24.020-06:00

I need the advice of you fine ladies tonight.... Right now hubby alternates nights between Lisa and I so we both get him every other night; Should I ask them to change it to three days here and three days there and then alternate sundays? Example......Lisa gets: Mon.- Tues.- Wed. Vena gets: Thurs.-Fri.- Sat. and then Lisa gets Sunday (his day off). Then the next week it goes like this..... Vena

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1160458157833289392006-10-09T22:30:00.000-06:002006-10-09T23:29:17.863-06:00

As salamu alikum Ladies.....Yes I know it's been a while and man has it been hectic. Busy, busy,busy. I wish I could say that Ramamdan has kept me so busy, but unfortunatly it is dounia that has taken me away. Nothing bad alhamdulillah, but the daily routines have been kindda chaotic latlely. Am I the only one who thinks this is the easiest ramadan ever to fast? Subhan Allah fasting it wonderful

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1158562712257117842006-09-18T00:22:00.000-06:002006-09-18T00:58:32.276-06:00

My kids are here!!!! Well they are my step kids, but wallahi I feel as if they are my kids. They tried to surprise me by coming early from Dubai, but I didn't buy it. They gave me a bogus day, but I put all the clues together and figured out exactly when they were coming. I did keep it from my hubby though cause I wanted to surprise him. He had a feeling that I knew the date, but that day I threw

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1158164728652724022006-09-13T09:46:00.000-06:002006-09-13T10:25:29.036-06:00

Ok so it's time for me to catch up on some posts. Here is my post with the do's and don't for the wives in a polygamous marriage.Do's and Dont's for the wives...... 1. Try not to compare yourself to your co-wife. Remember that every person has their strengths and their weaknesses. This is a trick from Shaytan to make you doubt your worth. Try to defeat your insecurities and BE SECURE IN YOURSELF.

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1157862386912452442006-09-09T22:21:00.000-06:002006-09-10T01:14:02.970-06:00

So here is something that I'm not sure if I ever mentioned before. My husband was previously married before me. When my husband was 24 he married a 23 year old american convert with two girls (hey just like me when I married him). Her daughters were 2 1/2 years old and 8 months old. They were babies and their dad was never involved in their life whatsoever so their dad in their eyes and in mine

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1157692053833656712006-09-07T23:03:00.000-06:002006-09-07T23:07:33.836-06:00

Do's and don'ts for men in polygny...... (please feel free to add to my list)What are some rules that husbands should follow to make a polygamous marriage run smoothly???For the Men....1. Never call one wife infront of the other for any reason unless absolutely and I mean absolutely necessary.2. Do not put love-names for any of your wives on your mobile phone.3. Lock your cell phone so your wives

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1157691788584691752006-09-07T22:37:00.000-06:002006-09-07T23:03:08.600-06:00

Last week Lisa asked me if I wanted to meet her for lunch at the mall next to her work, but I happened to be fasting that day so I had to decline and we said we would do it another time. Anyways my sister in law and I were going to be going to that mall today to exchange something so I decided to call Lisa on my way and ask her if she wanted to meet me there. Mind you I am still fasting (making

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1157254816199218762006-09-02T21:08:00.000-06:002006-09-02T21:40:16.216-06:00

The other day my husband told me that maybe we could go out to eat together before he had to leave for work at 6:00 p.m. So we made plans to go eat seafood after he ran his errands. Anyways the time passed and he was not able to come in time for us to go out and I was fine with that. I understood that he had to go apply for a daytime shift and so I was not upset at all. He was very sweet about it

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156918315632598292006-08-29T23:52:00.000-06:002006-08-30T00:11:55.646-06:00

As salamu alikum to all....Well here I am again. It's been a couple of days, but alhamdulillah things are going well. Masha Allah my life has taken an unexpected turn and just as I felt I was on the brink of divorce....WA-LA!!! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah is all I can say. My sister in law's waleemah was this Saturday and mind you it was Lisa's day and I didn't know how my husband

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156506688156993292006-08-25T05:48:00.000-06:002006-08-25T05:51:28.166-06:00

Today is my third year with my husband and if I had to do it all over again.....I probably would ; )

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156482502138167952006-08-24T23:03:00.000-06:002006-08-24T23:08:22.153-06:00

Today was a nice day. I invited 5 of my friends over today. Three of which are co-wives. We decided to get together to talk about polygny a little bit. We talked about the book and about our experiences. It was great it felt like group therapy. What is it with me and therapy lately??? Anyways we had a wonderful time and I realized that if it wasn't for my husband having another wife I really

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156396808312306612006-08-23T23:15:00.000-06:002006-08-24T22:56:23.560-06:00

Subhan Allah!!!! Who would have thought my day would end like this??? Lisa and I are friends again walhamdulillah. Shocked??? The Imam arranged for the two of us to discuss our issues and that's exactly what we did. To make a long story short....In a period of several hours we discussed our anger, our hurt, our fears, our misunderstandings, our differences and much more. We came to the conclusion

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156307971959329672006-08-22T22:31:00.000-06:002006-08-22T22:39:31.966-06:00

For any of you ladies who's husbands are all yours....Don't take them for granted! Appreciate what they do for you, give them their rights, baby them and make them feel loved. Don't let it take another woman to show you how much he really means and how wonderful he really is. Look and see it for yourself. Live without regret!

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156219747162484442006-08-21T22:03:00.000-06:002006-08-21T22:09:07.400-06:00

Remember I told all of you that I had started my own yahoo polygamy group??? It's called Thewivesclub_polygamy. Well one of my friend's posted something very nice I think you all should read. I don't know if you have to join the group to read it, but here's the link http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheWivesClub_polygamy/ Go there and read the post called "Quotes from a second wife" It's really

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156217761886678222006-08-21T20:57:00.000-06:002006-08-21T21:36:01.896-06:00

The Past couple of days I have been in and out of the Imam's office. One day with my mom, the next with my husband, and the next with my sis-in-law. Masha Allah! Masha Allah! Masha Allah! I couldn't have asked for a better Imam to help me with my situation. Not only is he a learned sheikh, but he is also a psychologist and has 2 phd's. What is better than someone with knowledge of the deen who

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1156043886318347442006-08-19T21:14:00.000-06:002006-08-21T20:56:52.320-06:00

I haven't been posting for a couple of days because I have on the verge of divorce. My husband hasn't been asking for it, but I have. I hate this situation. I hate sharing my husband with someone who betrayed my friendship to her. My husband and I got into one of our worst fights yesterday. It was too ugly to describe. A3uthoo billah!!!! I know it was shaytan. Looking at myself I saw the shaytan

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155791772348608982006-08-16T23:11:00.000-06:002006-08-19T21:14:24.986-06:00

Today was such a loooooong day. Alhamdulillah the day started out good. My mom and I went to go get our hair done. She got a cut and the new Japanese relaxer, I got a cut and fixed my highlights, and my little amoonie (my 2 year old) got her first official hair cut (she looks like a boy...lol. but a very cute boy). Anyways we got our hair done and that took most of the day and on our way to go

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155706377960838462006-08-15T23:20:00.000-06:002006-08-15T23:32:57.970-06:00

I am soooooo embarassed to even say what it was that I got angry about. lol. I am sooooo childish sometimes. Believe it or not I got mad because my husband was shopping at walmart with HER. I know that sounds so dumb, but it's because anytime I want to go shopping with him he complains about going with all the kids and tells me to go with his sister. We had the kids before and we used to go to

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155608113379332552006-08-14T20:14:00.000-06:002006-08-14T20:15:13.393-06:00

LOL!!!! Shaytan got to me!!! That didn't take long, did it? I'll give details later insha Allah. Man I'm weak!!!

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155561899256750002006-08-14T06:48:00.000-06:002006-08-14T07:26:51.276-06:00

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!!!!! This morning I feel such a rush of empowerment. YA ALLAH.....What a feeling!!! I love it. The reason I feel sooooooo good masha Allah is because I did not let shaytan provoke me this morning and last night.Last night masha Allah my husband was being so sweet. He came home in the morning after working night shift and went straight to bed. I let him

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155450523591106592006-08-13T00:05:00.000-06:002006-08-13T00:28:43.606-06:00

This next post is dedicated to a very sweet sister Safa whose blog really touches my heart. I want her to smile (as well as the rest of you) so I will share with you this funny story.One day my husband and I had to stop at the post office for his sister who wanted to send out a package and he wanted to send out his kids' child support. They went inside and I was left bored in the car. I am

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155448443163311662006-08-12T23:30:00.000-06:002006-08-12T23:54:03.173-06:00

You know what I just realized???? I have not really been saying the nice things about my husband, just the bad. I do not want to give the impression that he was the only one at fault in this marriage. It was me too, but just like my sis-in-law says....."You don't fix problems in one marriage by another marriage." I love my husband very much. He has his faults, but his strengths outweigh his

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155446975570898832006-08-12T22:43:00.000-06:002006-08-12T23:29:35.586-06:00

You know what I always tell my husband? I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I say that men are not like dogs like some people say.......Dogs are more loyal. I hate that I sound so bitter, but I just hear so many stories of how we women sacrifice for their men only to have them either unappreciate them or go find someone else. I am sick of this. I am sick of people telling me that I need to

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155374985046554112006-08-12T03:27:00.000-06:002006-08-12T03:29:45.053-06:00

By the way....Does it make a difference to know that my husband is 13 years older than me and 12 years older than Lisa???

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155374721680410212006-08-12T03:12:00.000-06:002006-08-12T03:25:21.690-06:00

SubhanAllah.....Guess what??? You know that little insurance paper that caused me sooooooo much head and heartache???? Well I found the sucker and the date of expiration was 8-8-06. When did my hubby get the ticket??? 8-11-06. WOW!!!! I guess it wouldn't have made a difference whether the dumb paper was in the car or not. It might have even been worse if he had an expired insurance paper in the

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155351934763063662006-08-11T20:31:00.000-06:002006-08-11T21:05:34.786-06:00

Today was the perfect example of how Shaytan is on my back and won't leave me alone. He will not be happy until my husband and I are divorced. A3uthoo billahi minal shaytan ilrajeem. Last night I was reading in my new book From Monogamy to Polygny and it was really inspiring to me. Although I only read the first chapter, it really motivated me to be a better wife and co-wife. This morning I

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155196185383616172006-08-10T01:21:00.000-06:002006-08-10T10:58:44.186-06:00

Yesterday my husband got my hopes up by telling me that things might be over between him and Lisa. I wanted to literally jump out of my seat, but I didn't. I asked him what had happened and we started talking as we used to, like friends. He really opened up to me although he has been very edgy lately and that made me feel really close to him. I miss the way our relationship used to be. Now he is

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155194473235851062006-08-09T23:44:00.000-06:002006-08-10T11:03:36.283-06:00

So now she and I are co-wives (whatever that means) and we're not on the best of terms. Like I said I felt our friendship was one-sided. I felt as if she was only really being my friend because she didn't want my husband to leave her. I was getting tired of always being the one to invite her out or the one to ask her to come over or the one to get her gifts and so on. I was tired of trying to

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155111080725849052006-08-09T01:43:00.000-06:002006-08-09T02:11:20.736-06:00

A few days later I cooled down and I decided to write her a letter asking her for forgiveness if I said anything when I was angry about her. She is a Muslim and I did not want to backbite her and cause sins on myself even if she had wronged me. I bought her a gift and tried to be the better person and not let shaytan win over me. I knew this was a test from Allah (swt) or a negative result from

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155109390978955902006-08-09T01:30:00.000-06:002006-08-09T01:43:10.986-06:00

I wanted to leave! I hated him that day, but I didn't leave. I wanted revenge and I wanted justice and I wanted soooooooo badly to hurt the two of them as bad as they hurt me. One vivid memory of that day was the moment he saw me at his friend's gas station an hour or so after he told me the devastating news. He came to my van smiling and when I went crazy on him all he could say was, "I didn't

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155108537330887552006-08-09T01:02:00.000-06:002006-08-09T01:28:57.346-06:00

December 26, 2005 : The worst day of my life. After my husband brought me the rose he went to sleep because he was exhausted from working all night ( so I thought). When he woke up from his sleep I prepared him breakfast and we sat together reading an e-mail I wrote him that night about how much I love and trust him and so on...blah..blah...blah... and before he left to work I asked him where I

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155106888335561382006-08-09T00:43:00.000-06:002006-08-09T01:01:28.346-06:00

Too Late I didn't have a choice. The same day Lisa and I had our friends counsel with us we had a fall-out. I found out that she had, prior to coming to my house, called my husband and told him that I was bringing my friends over so they can talk to the two of us. I didn't understand why it was her place to tell him. I was soooooo angry that she had called him that I went off on her on the phone

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155105322898747702006-08-09T00:19:00.000-06:002006-08-09T00:35:22.906-06:00

During this time my husband and I were going through a very rough time. I decided that my marriage needed a change and that I was a contributing factor to some of these problems. My husband always used to tell me not to give him a reason to find another wife and that he only loved me. All he really cared about was for me to show him love and affection. He wanted to be my priority, but honestly I

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155010715503890432006-08-07T21:58:00.000-06:002006-08-07T23:05:00.206-06:00

December 2005I invited some of my friends one day for a picnic at the park across the street. Lisa came and brought her son and her friend's sons. The picnic was fun and everyone had a nice time, but as the day progressed I noticed Lisa was distant and deep in thought. Her reactions when I brought up my husband in subjects with my friends was strange as well. I felt her unease. I felt her

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155009513687433212006-08-07T21:50:00.000-06:002006-08-07T21:58:33.686-06:00

Her Iddah is over; FINALLY!!!! She knew it was over, but didn't remind me. We had waited for this day for three months and she didn't even mention it. WEIRD???!!!! When I realized it on my own I called her and displayed my excitment, but to my surprise she wasn't as excited as I had expected. "Hey now you can meet brother Ahmed. Finally!" Still no excitment. What is wrong with her??? She was once

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1155008722622820742006-08-07T21:16:00.000-06:002006-08-07T21:45:22.833-06:00

Ramadan came and we had a great time. We gathered at my house and the houses of other sisters. We ate future at the masjid almost every night. During this time I started noticing brief moments of flirtation between my husband and Lisa. I made the mistake of not keeping them completely separate; not that they were always together either, but enough to ignite feelings I guess. I thought that oh as

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1154757433812449362006-08-04T22:47:00.000-06:002006-08-04T23:57:13.820-06:00

Every marriage has it's problems, but I would say my marriage was reasonable. Yes, I've had my share of issues, arguments, and misunderstandings, but what marriage doesn't? I believe that all the problems my husband and I had in our marriage were normal. Let's see what his major complaints about me were.... 1. I do not baby him enough (what a baby!!!!)2. I don't cook ( fixed....he taught me how)3

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1154752895652292582006-08-04T21:54:00.000-06:002006-08-04T22:41:35.663-06:00

August 24, 2005, The day my life changed. My husband came home from work and we were talking about his day (as we usually did)when he asked me to guess what had happened that day. So I asked him, "What?" He said that his friend had left lisa. I was shocked. I had just talked to her a few days before and she told me that everything was fine and she didn't know why her husband would tell my husband

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1154749843815400372006-08-04T20:43:00.000-06:002006-08-04T21:50:43.826-06:00

The first day I heard of her, but not the first day we met. One day my husband and I were visiting his children where they lived with their mom approx. 60 miles away from us. As we were dropping his children back at home after our picnic a friend of my husband's had called. From what I understood of the conversation his friend was facing a personal dilema. To marry or not to marry? That was the

Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.com0