tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post278245225252031637..comments2019-11-12T06:08:59.908-06:00Comments on Thoughts of a First Wife: Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-59108942056517132882012-01-26T12:17:11.993-06:002012-01-26T12:17:11.993-06:00Looking back over this post...alhamdulileh I'm...Looking back over this post...alhamdulileh I'm so glad you got out of this situation and found peace.<br /><br />Last year, my husband came *thisclose* to marrying another woman. The 4 months that I was dealing with this trial were the worst 4 months in my life (I was only involved for the last 4 months of it, but the situation had been building for a long time before that, which I was Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-29509116065803255882011-12-13T11:34:10.166-06:002011-12-13T11:34:10.166-06:00Please email me! I have a question about your blog...Please email me! I have a question about your blog :)<br />HeatherVonsj@gmail.comHeatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07957437718840848185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-90674676863997799432011-12-03T23:50:55.232-06:002011-12-03T23:50:55.232-06:00We miss u ..come back................please.!!! lo...We miss u ..come back................please.!!! lol hope all is well inshallahAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-69354978183475036892011-12-03T17:50:12.051-06:002011-12-03T17:50:12.051-06:00Asalamu alaikum my sister in Islam. I am in major...Asalamu alaikum my sister in Islam. I am in major depression at the moment. I don't know where to begin. I came online because i feel lost and feel i have a major test ahead of me and dont know what to do or feel. I feel terrible. and I found your blog. I cried for you and myself. I want to talk with you. Can we???? I can't share with my family. My husband doesn't want me toHuriyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15821814194279017516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-91244488039835563352011-08-28T18:45:52.832-06:002011-08-28T18:45:52.832-06:00Sister Vena...update us!
Inshallah your situation...Sister Vena...update us!<br /><br />Inshallah your situation has improved, may Allah grant you the best of both worlds and grant you peace of mind and tranquility of the heart.<br /><br />Love and salaamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-37440669619902560832011-07-30T09:28:37.480-06:002011-07-30T09:28:37.480-06:00asalam alaykum,
hi sis i just came upon your blog...asalam alaykum,<br /><br />hi sis i just came upon your blog and couldnt stop reading. please sis, give us an update on how you are doinng now. its been a year.akl1985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-78985201479134275652011-04-15T14:49:29.432-06:002011-04-15T14:49:29.432-06:00As Salam Alaikum:
I do feel sorry for you. I thin...As Salam Alaikum:<br /><br />I do feel sorry for you. I think you are so right...The HUSBANDS needs the classes on how to be good and follow the rules set by Allah swt. I think that, with the right sister wife, polygny could really be alot of fun.Aicha Richardsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-78285163394255901822011-04-15T14:41:37.311-06:002011-04-15T14:41:37.311-06:00As Salamu Alaykum:
I feel really sorry for you. Y...As Salamu Alaykum:<br /><br />I feel really sorry for you. You are right the MEN need the class on how to be good husbands. If done right and as long as the MEN follow the rules set by Allah swt, I think polygyny could really be an interesting time and even fun with the right sister wife.Aicha Richardsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-63201870947830436242011-03-25T11:50:14.189-06:002011-03-25T11:50:14.189-06:00Assalam alaykum ukhti,I have just read through you...Assalam alaykum ukhti,I have just read through your whole blog mashallah,u had me engrossed. I just wanted to say eventhough I dont know you and have never met you,I really like you mashallah and love u feesabilillah. You are such a strong women subhanallah. I can tell you are a good person and a wonderful muslimah mashallah tabarakallah. Keep up the bloggin inshallah xxx love frm an irish sisterHaneefah_UmmIsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04166956683388207419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-77586008977368950382011-02-10T17:12:55.619-06:002011-02-10T17:12:55.619-06:00Hi Vena. I stumbled upon your blog randomly, and I...Hi Vena. I stumbled upon your blog randomly, and I have to say that I love your writing and how real your thoughts and feelings are portrayed on your blog! I am not Muslim, so I am not qualified to give any advice or suggestions, but I want to let you know that your words have touched my life. I have been struggling with my own personal issues, and after reading your blog, I feel comforted in theShawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12907577695094691146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-42631347982079703502011-02-10T17:12:11.879-06:002011-02-10T17:12:11.879-06:00Hi Vena. I stumbled upon your blog randomly, and I...Hi Vena. I stumbled upon your blog randomly, and I have to say that I love your writing and how real your thoughts and feelings are portrayed on your blog! I am not Muslim, so I am not qualified to give any advice or suggestions, but I want to let you know that your words have touched my life. I have been struggling with my own personal issues, and after reading your blog, I feel comforted in theShawnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12907577695094691146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-21022235584009028622011-02-10T11:47:49.668-06:002011-02-10T11:47:49.668-06:00Anon: Polygamy is hard and I don't see why she...Anon: Polygamy is hard and I don't see why she should not have a right to say it! I think that discouraging polygamy when the man "cannot live up to it and the regulations set" (her words) is WISE of her!Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15769515811889621243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-48982866354152576902011-01-27T21:28:15.568-06:002011-01-27T21:28:15.568-06:00Ameen.
Sister I admire you for being strong and t...Ameen.<br /><br />Sister I admire you for being strong and trying to make the best of the situation. May Allah guide you and protect you insha Allah, Me He(swt) also bless you for being as supportive as you can.<br /><br />Assalamu AlaikumAlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17861658686729271759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-11202932122870545852011-01-13T23:09:06.174-06:002011-01-13T23:09:06.174-06:00-i think she should tell us not to do it, if what ...-i think she should tell us not to do it, if what she posted applies to us.. Because Even Allah ta ala does... do not do it if you feel you dont got it like that...shes only doing what a Muslim should, whether its due to her sour experience(if I may sister, forgive me inshAllah) or if she is just advising out a wanting to help... and Allah knows Best her niyyah.. but sister one thing... some Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-61621958349702490962011-01-12T04:01:23.415-06:002011-01-12T04:01:23.415-06:00To Anonymous above.
Dawa should be taken, irrespec...To Anonymous above.<br />Dawa should be taken, irrespect of where it comes from. <br />The warnings are real, and should not be taken lightly. Being unjust is sinful,is that the reason men get married? <br />I do however agree with the Vena.<br />Why not marry someone older, uglier, fatter then the first wife.<br />Because these marriages are for the husbands lust and the other women's Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-65769857101510630362010-12-18T00:41:15.609-06:002010-12-18T00:41:15.609-06:00If a man really wants to help out a poor woman in ...If a man really wants to help out a poor woman in need why not provide charity without strings attached? Why the implicit assumption of sex for a roof over her head and food on the table? Why destroy his existing family's security, unsettling other people's lives (first wife and kids) for the sake of his penis? Sorry to be so damn crass but I do think polygamy in the modern world is Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-46518919914055625032010-12-16T19:21:21.077-06:002010-12-16T19:21:21.077-06:00Salamualaikum!! new to the blog :)
i jusssst wrot...Salamualaikum!! new to the blog :)<br /><br />i jusssst wrote a post similar to this! how the state of the ummah is failing miserably! subanaallah.<br /><br />Also, for a good lecture for muslim men, go to youtube and listen to "Only a muslim man is a muslim man" by Taablib Abdullah. He hit the nail straight on the head! about time the brothers got grilled!<br /><br />http://Faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01673964211466117094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-54518501490325102212010-11-27T12:15:09.084-06:002010-11-27T12:15:09.084-06:00Aamen to dua.
I think sister has all the right t...Aamen to dua. <br /><br />I think sister has all the right to warn about polygamy and even advice men not to do it if they are not sure they can do it proper and be just to all. After all she has her very own experience of this. <br /><br />And yes polygamy is allowed to muslim men but its not something that absolutely have to do. There are other more important things and there are many muslim Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-16260808439459072022010-11-10T14:07:56.984-06:002010-11-10T14:07:56.984-06:00I have to agree. the focus is usually on women, th...I have to agree. the focus is usually on women, their arent a lot of lectures encouraging muslim brothers to be better men, muslims, husbands, fathers. Really. <br /><br />you don't hear many lectures advising men on how to balance work, the masjid and his family or families.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-134261777340683772010-11-06T07:17:16.929-06:002010-11-06T07:17:16.929-06:00Hello Sisters-MARRIAGE IS HARD. Period. I had one ...Hello Sisters-MARRIAGE IS HARD. Period. I had one husband for 20 years and it was not a positive experience-without a co-wife or sister wife or anything else. Marriage is hard.<br /><br />That being said, Vena is right-most Muslim men today marry second wives for reasons that don't seem too 'worthy'. <br /><br />I saw advantages in being a second wife (only half to cook 1/2 time, eh??Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-61912746426367025472010-10-24T09:15:15.477-06:002010-10-24T09:15:15.477-06:00BTW the arrangements for time allocation for wives...BTW the arrangements for time allocation for wives are flexible and by mutual agreement, i.e. not necessary one day here, one day there. For example, I know of a case where the first wife who has 7 children gets 5 days a week, whereas the second wife, who has none, gets 2. This does not sound unreasonable in your case and might make your load easier to bear Insha Allah! It's the least your Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-25082998279370623882010-10-22T02:29:03.248-06:002010-10-22T02:29:03.248-06:00Oh please - Anonymous, i think you give men too mu...Oh please - Anonymous, i think you give men too much credit. I remember being offered the 'opportunity' to become someone's second wife while he and his first wife (and children) were living with his first wife's parents.Brother, if you can't afford to put your wife in her own house, you should not even be allowed to say the words 'second wife'. This is apart from all ummhumayranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-16510136773839517152010-10-22T02:07:19.671-06:002010-10-22T02:07:19.671-06:00Assalamu alaykum sis how are you ? i just stumbled...Assalamu alaykum sis how are you ? i just stumbled upon your blog and mashallah i think you are a brave and HUMAN muslimah i think you have a cool personality and would like to chat with you inshallah i prolly sound corny but i just think you are truly a real down to earth person if you want you can contact me at Peaceofmind52@yahoo.com i saw in your blog that you mentioned a store called Khadijahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10359052146710146180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-84963201008733958932010-10-21T04:13:04.609-06:002010-10-21T04:13:04.609-06:00Slm sister! My heart goes out to you! Here in Sout...Slm sister! My heart goes out to you! Here in South Africa, 90% of polygamy seems to be as a direct result of 'intermingling', i.e. what in a polygamy-free society would have consituted an 'affair'. What can one do when nothing prevents your husband from developing an emotional relationship with a stranger? However, what really bugs me, are these so-called 'philantropic' Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-56312174648435526682010-10-15T18:19:56.661-06:002010-10-15T18:19:56.661-06:00I know how you feel. but we shouldn't hate/dis...I know how you feel. but we shouldn't hate/dislike what Allah has sent through revelation. Allah is Just and if it wasn't for Him, a lot of women would be alone until they die, they would be having a lonely life, maybe make the wrong choices (like prostitution), etc. Alhamdulilah, Allah is Merciful and He knows the best for His creation.<br /><br />I know it's hard and I couldn't Khadijahnoreply@blogger.com