tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post116283796788762455..comments2019-11-12T06:08:59.908-06:00Comments on Thoughts of a First Wife: Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-10339870292813440912009-11-03T13:00:21.203-06:002009-11-03T13:00:21.203-06:00Why do you have two more children since this happe...Why do you have two more children since this happened? You need to put a full stop.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-86256508896510577202007-06-20T19:01:00.000-06:002007-06-20T19:01:00.000-06:00Salam alaikum sister I understand how you feel abo...Salam alaikum sister I understand how you feel about the children he currently has however it is not any of your business if he has a child with Lisa or not. It is something for the both of them to decide. Salam alaikumMuslim Flowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17821764266465553069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1163054810897777092006-11-09T00:46:00.000-06:002006-11-09T00:46:00.000-06:00Jazaki Allah khair sister for all of these wonderf...Jazaki Allah khair sister for all of these wonderful hadeeths.Venahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1163024577182301092006-11-08T16:22:00.000-06:002006-11-08T16:22:00.000-06:00Asalamu Wakaium Uhkti,Having read your reversion s...Asalamu Wakaium Uhkti,<BR/>Having read your reversion story, masha allah, it is obvious you come from a unique position that enables you to fully understand the significant role of Muslim parents,insha allah.<BR/>Maybe some (read sisters) would doubt your intentions regading this issue. Yes, a child would cement their relationship...even if they weren't to remain married. <BR/>I would like to UmmBadierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05575933305171980392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1163015871701850442006-11-08T13:57:00.000-06:002006-11-08T13:57:00.000-06:00Vena,Don't sell out your God given common sense on...Vena,<BR/><BR/>Don't sell out your God given common sense on this issue. You are right and the issue of whether Lisa is entitled to a child is a non-issue. She already has a son doesn't she? She knew what she was getting into. He's in over his head. That's no reason for you to have to drown, too. You have too many children depending on you.<BR/><BR/>Salaam Alaikum,<BR/>PMPMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06039810429646916382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162952364686629432006-11-07T20:19:00.000-06:002006-11-07T20:19:00.000-06:00I agree that you have a right to voice your opinio...I agree that you have a right to voice your opinion on this matter because of how it impacts upon your household, that being said you can only give advice. He is the one with the responsibilty. And truly, he should think about this.How does he feel about what's happening with his children, does he take any personal responsibilty or does he just blame it on the society around them? All wives have JamilaLighthousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10827570289528701677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162950114882074532006-11-07T19:41:00.000-06:002006-11-07T19:41:00.000-06:00As salamu alikum sisters.....To tell you the truth...As salamu alikum sisters.....To tell you the truth I am not as worried about my children as I am worried about the other kids. Alhamdulillah Allah has given me guidance in my life to allow me to raise my children islamically. I will stand by my kids no matter what and make sure they grow up with Islam implemented in their lives. If I fail at other things insha Allah this is something I hope to Venahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162914868720753392006-11-07T09:54:00.000-06:002006-11-07T09:54:00.000-06:00Why is it not vena's business what her husband doe...Why is it not vena's business what her husband does? Does not her husband's maa'siya to Allah affect the whole of his household? Subhannallah! Really, it so frustrating that we as sisters can be so careless of one another and yet preach all night about the sunnah of our husband's rights.Ya elahi.<BR/><BR/> Vena, wallah Im so proud of you for thinking about the welfare of all of your husband's Musleemahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13685925843221561520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162899786680212432006-11-07T05:43:00.000-06:002006-11-07T05:43:00.000-06:00salaamsim new here. i statred blogging last friday...salaams<BR/><BR/>im new here. i statred blogging last friday 3/11/2006. ive read your blog as well and i was surprised and hurt by all the things transpired. sisters i want to ask a question here, why do wel wllow oursleves to go through all this. why do we put up with brothers who dont treat us right, who lie and cheat and misuses and abuse us? <BR/><BR/>are we perhaps so dependant on them that Queeniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02437415125525361305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162885810886006682006-11-07T01:50:00.000-06:002006-11-07T01:50:00.000-06:00I've been reading your blog for a while now (found...I've been reading your blog for a while now (found u thru Safa). It makes me so sad to hear the state his children are in. No education? That is preposterous. Does he not realize what kind of self-esteem and finance problems will arise in the future when they have to catch up? Not to mention huge, bitter resentment. Men like this... SubhanAllah, they drive me crazy with their myopia, incurable J Levhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12636658639471008341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162883805970120752006-11-07T01:16:00.000-06:002006-11-07T01:16:00.000-06:00That is really sad!!! I should have known you woul...That is really sad!!! I should have known you would get what I'm saying.Venahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162883568668091372006-11-07T01:12:00.000-06:002006-11-07T01:12:00.000-06:00Her kids are in school, chikki...it's his other ki...Her kids are in school, chikki...it's his other kids she's talking about......lol....just thought I'd clear that up.<BR/><BR/>Vena....as much as I know that everyone has a point here.....I'm in ur boat. My hubby hasn't been a full-time...even a half-time father to his kids in 6 yrs....the idea of him having more just makes me sad. My 3 yr old grew up without him.....she used to call him Amu Safahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03753208969449031396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162874110051689912006-11-06T22:35:00.000-06:002006-11-06T22:35:00.000-06:00I am fascinated by your blog, because it is a whol...I am fascinated by your blog, because it is a whole different world for me. <BR/><BR/>I feel really bad for your kids...they need to be in school! <BR/><BR/>Good luck and take care.Chikkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04353724785872787493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162869632860484482006-11-06T21:20:00.000-06:002006-11-06T21:20:00.000-06:00Assalaamu AlaikumI agree with Aisha on the part th...Assalaamu Alaikum<BR/>I agree with Aisha on the part that we can't tell them not to have a baby. Because part of being married is having kids. I have five kids myself and just him, so I really do know it's tough. It's very tough. <BR/>Men do need to step up and help balance out the households. Yes many of them work all day, but a man who comes home and eats and rests can be part of his household Khadija Dawn Carrylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09430263451532748430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162867862882944402006-11-06T20:51:00.000-06:002006-11-06T20:51:00.000-06:00Asalamalaykom Vena,Dear Sister. I've had this con...Asalamalaykom Vena,<BR/><BR/>Dear Sister. I've had this conversation myself and I didn't have any right to have it and neither did you. God bless you for being an "Earth Mother" who wants the best for all children. Truth is that you have to detach from what he's got going on with other women and with his children from other women.<BR/><BR/>My hub's son is on asthma meds in Egypt. He is too Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162862930826777772006-11-06T19:28:00.000-06:002006-11-06T19:28:00.000-06:00sis I do not want to control my husband's life, bu...sis I do not want to control my husband's life, but his life effects mine and therefore effects my kids as well. Any kids that he has will have an effect on my kids. My husband's kids have to be a part of my children's life and because of the way that they were raised it is teaching my kids negative things. His son who needs to be on his meds can also get physical at any given moment. I think my Venahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162862683616752282006-11-06T19:24:00.000-06:002006-11-06T19:24:00.000-06:00See this is exactly my point. Sis could you please...See this is exactly my point. Sis could you please send me the link to those articals? I don't know how to get it in his head. And yes I know it is illegal for all of them to be out of school. There mom has claimed to be homeschooling, but isn't. The problem is that if we call CPS then we don't know where the girls will be put. The boys will go to their father, but the girls are not biologically Venahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162862538181081332006-11-06T19:22:00.000-06:002006-11-06T19:22:00.000-06:00Vena, you know that your request is totally unreas...Vena, you know that your request is totally unreasonable. First, you don't have a say in what your husband does with his other wife/wives. Plus, having kids is a big part of married muslim life. I can relate to your angst about basically raising your kids alone, but this is your akhirah - not his. Your mom is right, you can't expect to work outside the home and turn around and go to work at home.Khala Aishahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05657887558449376364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162850085240691782006-11-06T15:54:00.000-06:002006-11-06T15:54:00.000-06:00I cant believe your husband would have the nerve t...I cant believe your husband would have the nerve to talk about having more kids when your other children are in such a messy condition. The nerve of some men disgusts me. You are absolutely right about demanding that he either step up or step off. My father is the single most important person in my life (this includes my mother and my husband, as much as I love them) - even though he was always ...https://www.blogger.com/profile/08641974853033207241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-1162844125786368722006-11-06T14:15:00.000-06:002006-11-06T14:15:00.000-06:00Asalamu Walaikum Uhkti,This is a problem for many,...Asalamu Walaikum Uhkti,<BR/>This is a problem for many, many sisters subhannallah. I suggest you buckle down and do a crash course in researching a muslim father's responsibilties to his children. Financial support is only the beginning. He has so much to teach them in regards to the deen. Was your mom talking about sunnah or culture? Insha allah you will find you are right and then some.<BR/>I UmmBadierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05575933305171980392noreply@blogger.com