tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post1045354891446694880..comments2019-11-12T06:08:59.908-06:00Comments on Thoughts of a First Wife: Venahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-11359370952643444962009-11-10T22:36:08.903-06:002009-11-10T22:36:08.903-06:00MASHA ALLAH i admire your courge my allah keep yo...MASHA ALLAH i admire your courge my allah keep you always strong you are dealing with things well i am proud of you as my muslim sister and my allah make this test easy for u and reword you for your good deeds amiin i trully feel like i know you coz i know all i need to know that u r a good muslimah and have a golden heart and for that i want to tell u that i love u for the sake of allah <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-53833823380636427232008-03-13T08:23:00.000-06:002008-03-13T08:23:00.000-06:00I believe that a man can be in a situation where h...I believe that a man can be in a situation where he loves both wives equally and cannot say one is a favorite. I do not think he is saying it because it is not true, but maybe because one has qualities that he likes that the other doesn't have and vise versa. Each woman has her good and her bad. Maybe a man might love one wife more than the other and then something will change and then he will Venahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15011130955742407024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-90537112417509091552008-03-11T13:45:00.000-06:002008-03-11T13:45:00.000-06:00Regarding that blog -my2wives.com, I recant my end...Regarding that blog -my2wives.com, I recant my endorsement of the website. When the host said he has no favorite wife, I knew there was a problem; as Muslims, we know a man has a favorite. He probably didn't want the wives to read the blog and hear the truth,as it would cause problems. The website can't be to useful, if he's being reserved in his answers and not being forthright.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-53601121297472029552008-03-11T13:41:00.000-06:002008-03-11T13:41:00.000-06:00Very true thansk for the advice.You know it is som...Very true thansk for the advice.<BR/><BR/>You know it is something I want for this life but in the next life nothing is more beautiful than seeing the Allah as is promised in the next world.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-482534397701518582008-03-11T13:37:00.000-06:002008-03-11T13:37:00.000-06:00luv marriage,That's a difficult question to answer...luv marriage,<BR/><BR/>That's a difficult question to answer, as I can only speak from the position of women who were adamantly opposed to polygyny before it happened. I can say, not even your wife is going to know how she will handle it until it happens. She knows how she feels now; however, when the situation becomes a reality, only Allah knows what feelings in your wife it's going to provoke.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-62010911015636926832008-03-10T04:09:00.000-06:002008-03-10T04:09:00.000-06:00Robin you have my email addy. I am the one you su...Robin you have my email addy. I am the one you suggested open a blog.<BR/><BR/>One of the things that makes me worry is how can a man be sure his wife (who says she supports it) won't lose fate or have major self-esteem issues?<BR/><BR/>I really need lots of advice here.<BR/><BR/>I will sign with <BR/>Luv Marriage from now onAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-3922285611005428272008-03-09T12:44:00.000-06:002008-03-09T12:44:00.000-06:00I found a blog, my2wives.com, which is very intere...I found a blog, my2wives.com, which is very interesting. I think it's a good blog for those who accept polygamy (because Allah made it permissable), and those who are interested in expanding their horizon with regard it. Insha Allah, those persons who reject what Allah has made lawful and honorable will not visit with their worthless comments...Just thought I'd share what I found.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-54394318343584677302008-03-04T21:46:00.000-06:002008-03-04T21:46:00.000-06:00Ameen to your duas but I don't think I will do my ...Ameen to your duas but I don't think I will do my own blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-45000111623627071292008-03-04T16:31:00.000-06:002008-03-04T16:31:00.000-06:00Just so you are certain - Yes, the reference was t...Just so you are certain - Yes, the reference was to you...and to your thank you, I say you are welcome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-42579354008075853112008-03-04T15:35:00.000-06:002008-03-04T15:35:00.000-06:00Just curious do you mean me?I thought at the end o...Just curious do you mean me?<BR/><BR/>I thought at the end of yourheart-filled message you were going to say you were single!<BR/><BR/>No seriously Thanks a lot sis if you were referring to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-71128488791431180372008-03-04T13:53:00.000-06:002008-03-04T13:53:00.000-06:00Asalaamu Alaikum,I am impressed you being a male a...Asalaamu Alaikum,<BR/>I am impressed you being a male and responding as you did. Perhaps you should begin your own blog, Insha Allah. Many sisters would love to know more about men and their experiences, emotions and psyche when it comes to wanting and having more than one wife. For a whole year,I blamed myself for my husband taking a second wife. I am only now just beginning to accept it as Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-86830912427697799262008-03-04T12:04:00.000-06:002008-03-04T12:04:00.000-06:00salamu alaykum the sister herself expressed this t...salamu alaykum the sister herself expressed this through her entries if you go back and read carefully. However, you do have a good point and perhaps I need to reflect on my previous comment. Thanks for the correction!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-88919057759595670812008-03-04T12:02:00.000-06:002008-03-04T12:02:00.000-06:00Human beings are not our role models. Allah says f...Human beings are not our role models. Allah says follow the ways of the Prophets. We can't understand why Allah makes the decisions that he does. Because He is too big for us to understand. Our position should be to accept His decision and not try to figure out why He decided as he did. To say the sister was lacking, which is why her husband took another wife is way harsh. We need to stop Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-62346796715066614972008-03-04T11:52:00.000-06:002008-03-04T11:52:00.000-06:00Regardless sis, we have to go about these things i...Regardless sis, we have to go about these things in a noble manner. The way your husband went about it makes it hard for the rest of us to practice because people say look at that is that how it is done. <BR/><BR/>Secondly, you are right to forgive and to move on and yes he still shows you love and care. However, I don't like the way his other wife treats you and he as a man should have never Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-33097516396458578052008-03-04T11:44:00.000-06:002008-03-04T11:44:00.000-06:00Insha Allah, Vena no longer feels the need to shar...Insha Allah, Vena no longer feels the need to share the personal details of her marriage with the public. At the time, she needed confirmation that her negtive feelings were justified. Perhaps now she realizes that her husband's marriage to Lisa was ordained by Allah and Allah wants her (Vena) in a non-monogamous relationship, which is why it exists. Only when Vena accepts this truth will her Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-29125837228169610732008-03-04T09:21:00.000-06:002008-03-04T09:21:00.000-06:00where r u?where r u?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-16425120904942907362008-02-15T17:47:00.000-06:002008-02-15T17:47:00.000-06:00And my point is that saying "no one" is incorrect....And my point is that saying "no one" is incorrect. For sure many if not most people(male or female) would have to do some serious turning to Allah when they figure out that they can not have children. <BR/>A woman that could not conceive (but whose husband could and still wants too) would have to make a choice OR just stand by and let her husband do whatever he is going to do. There is the optionAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-32200505143192546582008-02-15T16:48:00.000-06:002008-02-15T16:48:00.000-06:00Assalamu Alaikum sister,I cant descripe to you how...Assalamu Alaikum sister,<BR/><BR/>I cant descripe to you how your blog has left me feeling. Please dont listen to these people who are whispering to you on hear like a shaitan! Yes.......the whole situation how everything went down was wrong, your dh and "lisa" made a mistake. However, now they are married and neither are living haram. I REALLY want you to update some more..and I REALLY REALLY Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-23481356636098042612008-02-15T14:56:00.000-06:002008-02-15T14:56:00.000-06:00when i said that no one is "cool with being child...when i said that no one is "cool with being childless" i meant that even those people that find alternate solutions are do not take their situation light heartedly. it is an extremely emotional and sometimes difficult decision to come to...which ever road they choose, whether it be to get a wife b, or to do any of the totally valid solutions you mentioned....my point was that no one is just "Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-91642620270657600972008-02-15T14:04:00.000-06:002008-02-15T14:04:00.000-06:00"if you read these blogs, like safa's or vena's......"if you read these blogs, like safa's or vena's...these women suffer the majority of the time"...Yes and that is why they are blogging-for support and outlet. <BR/>I tend to agree that this "story" in THIS post is an urban legend perpetrated by men. <BR/>But I still say that in SOME CASES poly is a workable solution...those blogs would be harder to find but those cases do exist.<BR/>For instance:Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-58655418181928273692008-02-15T10:03:00.000-06:002008-02-15T10:03:00.000-06:00and no one is "cool" with being childless. sheesh...and no one is "cool" with being childless. sheesh...you make it sound like some husbands are like "oh wow, we can't conceive, no big deal!"<BR/><BR/>there ARE men that are committed to their wives, and selfless enough to realize that if THEY go and have a child with someone else it doesn't solve their wife's problems.<BR/><BR/>it's very sad for me that some women marry men that only care about Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-41720872057277054332008-02-15T10:00:00.000-06:002008-02-15T10:00:00.000-06:00anonymous above, i know you think that for some it...anonymous above, <BR/>i know you think that for some it would be win win, and yes for some it would (like wife2). the sad reality is though, if you read these blogs, like safa's or vena's...these women suffer the majority of the time...and yet they hold on to their tattered lives. the go on suffering for the sake of Allah, and the sake of the few minutes of peace and love they can have with Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-87024879121129850842008-02-14T16:02:00.000-06:002008-02-14T16:02:00.000-06:00Ummabdurrahman,Maybe YOU would feel that pain, in ...Ummabdurrahman,<BR/>Maybe YOU would feel that pain, in which case you could divorce him and find a man that was cool with being childless or wanting to adopt...but they would not be the case for everyone. For some it would be win, win.<BR/>:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-84521804902597409872008-02-14T07:24:00.000-06:002008-02-14T07:24:00.000-06:00I dont think it's a win-win. the first wife is st...I dont think it's a win-win. the first wife is still left with no children and has to now deal with the pain of seeing her husband have children, the children she so wanted, without her.UmmAbdurRahmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836313418391522585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32207826.post-41892722850864762372008-02-14T01:58:00.000-06:002008-02-14T01:58:00.000-06:00"it's better for the couple to deal with their MUT..."it's better for the couple to deal with their MUTUAL problem by adopting children"...actually, that is BEST. <BR/><BR/>"SURELY living a SAD SAD life because your husband married another woman is ALSO a valid reason to divorce your husband."<BR/>Yeah, but that is not what this post was talking about. What is being said here is that this is one positive example of poly, where the infertile first Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com